The Weekly Review: Week Twelve

Blog Posts - New Babies

Congratulations to Amalah on welcoming Ike to her family. He's adorable. Problem Girl got to be present at the birth of her friend's baby Olive and did an amazing job with the pictures.

Weekly Blog Post that made me want to cook:

I have a friend who writes a very successful food blog called the Cupcake Project. She's been featured in Better Homes and Gardens, People Magazine and the New York Times among other publications. She did a slightly off topic post this week on Roasted Onions Filled with Savory Bread Pudding that actually made me want to cook. They just looked and sounded very yummy.

Sibling Moments of the Week:

Michael did something we praised him for. I honestly don't remember what it was (terrible I know). What I do remember, clearly, is how Ava said, "Yea! Good job!" and clapped her hands for him. She wanted to praise him too. I loved it.

In the car: Michael asked me to hand him a car he wanted. Ava had it in her carseat, but she wasn't playing with it. As I was driving, I couldn't get it for him and I told him so. He paused for a minute and then said, "Ava, can you give the car to me please?" She said, "Sure Michael!" and handed him the car. Simple, and yet sweet.

Michael and Ava's Cuteness of the Week:

At naptime, I put the children down for their nap by myself. We read stories in Michael's room with both children in my lap and then Ava and I tell Michael goodnight and head off to her room for one last song. Recently, the children have made a game of kissing my nose. I've been encouraging it because it is such a great oral motor activity (and it is sweet!). You have to do a pretty good job of pursing your lips to kiss the tip of a nose. I say, "Don't kiss my nose!" and hide it behind my hand. They giggle and pull my hand away before giving my nose a kiss. They take turns. Then I pretend to wipe the kisses away and we start all over again. It is fun, and sweet, and they would be willing to to it indefinitely as far as I can tell. I eventually have to call a halt or they'd never get down for nap. It's a game we all enjoy.

Family News Bulletin of the Week:

We just found out that my husband's parents are going to come visit next week. It is something of a spur of the moment decision and we are so excited to be expecting them. I can't tell the kids yet, because they aren't quite old enough to understand the week long delay before their grandparents arrive. I'm looking forward to sharing the news with them when the visit gets a little closer. We're going to plan several special outings I think and I can't wait. I hope the weather cooperates.

"Big" Decision I'm Considering

Ava refuses to let me put anything in her hair. No headbands. No bows. No hair bands. Nothing at all is tolerated. Her hair is getting longer (finally) and although I love the little hints of curl in the back, the front is in her eyes all the time. I can tell it is bothering her. She's constantly trying to sweep it out of her way. I wanted to wait until she had lots of hair before getting her first haircut, but it is in her eyes, and quite scraggly to be honest. I'm thinking of getting her first haircut. Somehow, it makes me a little sad. Odd, I know.

Extended Family

I grew up in New Orleans, LA. My mom is the oldest of five siblings all of whom lived within about 30 minutes driving distance of each other. Every weekend all the aunts, uncles, cousins, and assorted family friends would gather at my grandparents house to watch the Saints play football and eat my Pa-pa's Cajun cooking. It was boisterous, crowded, and loud but we were family. It was fun. To this day we are all close even though we are significantly more spread out around the country. My closeness with my extended family is a big part of who I am as a person and of the values I hold as important.

I am blessed to live only about five minutes away from my parents. We have them over for dinner once a week, and one of the kids spends the night at their house every weekend. It's wonderful for my children to have such a close relationship with their grandparents. It is a gift to the children and to my parents and watching those relationships develop and deepen is incredibly important to me.

It makes me sad though, that my children rarely get to experience the huge extended family gathering that I grew up with on a weekly basis. They don't know what it is like to be in a room crowded with family all talking at once. They haven't had the opportunity to become close to our extended relatives simply due to distance.

We prioritize visits. Many of my Louisiana relatives travel to us once a year and we go to them once a year as well. As the children get a little older, they remember those visits and begin to anticipate the next one. We also visit my dad's family in Arkansas once a year and my husband's family in Oklahoma once a year. My husband's parents are wonderful and come to us several times a year. They're here for both kids' birthdays and often for at least one bonus visit.

So we try to find different ways to stay close to family. And it works. But if I could only convince everyone I love to move into my neighborhood - that would be perfect. Weekend gatherings would be so much fun.

Complacency and Marathons

When I finally accepted that I needed to get help for Ava, she tested so low, and the label Childhood Apraxia of Speech was spoken out loud it had a huge, profound impact on me. I was very depressed. I had difficulty thinking about anything else. My mind constantly circled around questions that simply cannot be answered right now about how much progress Ava will make and what will the impact of all of this have on her childhood and future.

After a few weeks I passed through the "this has rocked my world and not in a good way" stage and into a more productive stage. There was a flurry of research, self-education, setting up appointments, starting therapy, getting hearing checked, surgery for PE tubes, learning and using sign language, making and setting up communication boards, IFSP meetings, considering and trying nutritional supplements, and blogging about all of the above. And, it was all worth it. We saw changes in Ava's ability to communicate - dramatic and celebrated changes.

I began to breathe a sigh of relief. Yes, the disorder is still there, but it is responding to treatment. I relaxed. I gave myself permission to stop pushing Ava so much at home. To be honest, she didn't respond well when I tried to sit her down at home and do structured therapy with her myself and so I stopped even trying. I switched to a more indirect method of working with her through books and songs and correcting the many utterances we get each day as a natural part of our daily life. So much positive change had taken place so quickly that I began to think that we were "okay." Perhaps we were lucky enough that Ava's apraxia was so mild that we could get her "caught up" in a 1-2 year time frame rather than a much more extended time frame.

Then, our first standardized articulation test was a bit of a reality check and I realized how she is still very far behind her same-age peers. I had become a bit complacent. The progress Ava had already made was such a relief that I forgot that there is still a long way to go. I haven't quite decided what to do about that yet, but over the next couple of weeks I'm going to be thinking about ways I can focus on Ava's speech more here at home again. I'd like to build in some speech time every day in a way that hopefully she and I can both enjoy. I need to remember that this journey is something of a marathon and that I cannot just simply hope that we've come far enough that the rest will magically take care of itself.