Grace Under Pressure - Not So Much

PSA: Pitiful whiny post ahead. Feel free to not read this one. :-) You have been warned.

This is a rough time of year. I love the holiday season, but it is intense. There are two major holidays in a row and big breaks in the daycare/preschool routine. (Therefore, less breaks for Mama.) We also have our annual trip 12 hours away taking our little ones away from home for 5 days.

This is also the exact same time frame that Ava's special education eligibility evaluation was held. I've also been informed that our IFSP is going to need to be updated even though it will only be in effect for approximately five weeks before she ages out. Our first IEP meeting is scheduled for later today.

Paperwork needs to be filled out to prepare for the IFSP meeting. Paperwork needs to be filled out for the IEP meeting. I scheduled a visit to the special education preschool classroom. I need to set up pediatrician visits. I haven't had enough sleep in weeks. I've been ill at least twice during this time frame. The children have each been ill 2-3 times and my husband and mother have been ill as well.

I'm limping along trying desperately to keep things together and still be a pleasant, cheerful, effective, and efficient mother/wife/therapist/friend/acquaintance, but the cracks are beginning to show. I'm less than patient with the children, Michael in particular, and I'm feeling pretty guilty about that. I had a "thing" with my husband - which never happens. Seriously, we're in sync 98% of the time. It was strange and disorienting to be upset with him. Fortunately we had that patched up in less than 36 hours.

I'm having trouble focusing on tasks that need to be done. My /s/ sets for Ava have been sitting 25% done for almost a week. If I could focus and finish them up I could be using them with her and sharing them with you. But when I do find the time to sit at the computer, my mind rebels and I end up randomly web browsing remembering little when the snippet of free time comes to an end.

The IEP meeting will be done in a few hours. The mostly token IFSP meeting will be done next week. Hopefully, things will settle a little after that and I'll have a chance to regroup. Well, until her birthday. Then everything shifts again. I suppose that's just how life works. This parenting a child with special needs is an endless exercise in flexibility. Someday I'll be an expert in that, right?