Monday, September 12, 2011

Is it that I don't remember?

I had the privilege of holding a three week old little girl last night. As she snuggled in my arms I watched all of the fleeting facial expressions and listened to the grunts and snuffles and sighs. It was so sweet.

I don't remember my babies being so expressive so young. To be honest I don't remember them being so expressive even much older. Is it that I just don't remember? Is it that I was too sleep-deprived and stressed to notice? Or does the apraxia start to show so early if you know what to watch for? Do the problems with motor-planning show up even as tiny infants? Apraxia is neurological in origin. Presumably it is there from birth. How does it impact their infancy and our introduction to motherhood?


  1. I think it probably is there but unless you know what you are looking for you dont see it. Especially as a bleary eyed sleep deprived first time mom. I know when I see infants now I wonder how I could have been so blind.

  2. Eli wouldn't latch on when he was born. I spent endless hours in the lactation consultants office (all the while he was losing weight) and no one could figure out what the problem was. Finally I started using a nipple shield & a SNS system. I now know it was b/c of his severe oral motor apraxia.

  3. Thank you both so much for your comments. Sometimes I feel crazy and a little bitter when I wonder if things were different so early and am jealous (and in wonder) of the expressiveness of other infants.

    Kristina - you know, we had significant trouble with latching too. I never thought about the connection there. Someone should do a study.

  4. Ironically, my first son (apraxic) latched on much better than my second (very expressive now at 9 months old and always, has been saying "Mama" for about two months). Also, my first always ate super neatly, while my second either spits out everything you put in his mouth, or grabs it with his fingers and pulls it out. :S

    But I remember wondering about the milestone charts when my first was about 4 months old. He was supposed to have cooed "every vowel" and I was sure I'd only heard two or three. Of course I thought the milestone charts were "off", not (never!) my son...

  5. I had the same experience with the milestone charts Karin. I was sure other people had to be exaggerating what babies do. I thought that even though I am an SLP myself.

    Yesterday I got to play with a 6 month old baby during a playdate. Wow! So much vocalizing. This baby girl was just playing with vowels. She would vocalize for 5-10 minutes at a time - multiple times during the morning. It was really wonderful to watch. Wish I had gotten to experience that myself as a mother.


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