Happy Valentine's Day

Ava and Michael got custom hand-made Valentine's Day Cards from their personal Cricut cupid. When the children spotted the card envelopes they ran to sit down for the opening. Michael recognizes his name and therefore studies the envelopes and determines which is his and which belongs to his sister. They open the cards and I can barely get them out of the children's hands long enough to read the sweet message inside to the children and take a quick picture before they are reclaimed. As always, the hand-made cards bring something special to our holidays. We send a big hug and thank you to the people who make them for us.

Happiness grows when shared, so I share them with you to bring a smile to your Valentine's Day.

Positive vs. Negative Reinforcement - One Case Study

At the age of four and a quarter, Michael is no longer sleeping during afternoon nap time. I simply have to accept that fact. For a while he would sleep on one day, and quietly play in his room for 90 minutes while his sister slept on the next day. Then the ratio was more like two quiet playing days for every one sleeping day. Then he was only sleeping twice a week. And now he pretty much never sleeps.

I wasn't overjoyed, to be honest. Still, I had little to complain about when he was contently playing in his room for 90 minutes during his sister's nap without even questioning this setup. There aren't many four year olds who will play quietly and happily in their room for an hour and a half.

Then he realized that I couldn't actually make him stay in his room and he started to wander. Once my husband found him quietly flossing his teeth in our bathroom (what?!?). That day he stayed in his room after being returned there. Another day I found him digging through an old box of toys in the hallway. Then he realized that he can sneak out of his room, and hide in just the right spot on the upper landing to spy on me at the computer. He began to leave his room and have to be returned at least every 15 minutes.

I'll admit it. I did not handle the situation with calm grace and dignity. By the time 2 pm rolls around I desperately want a break from childcare. I want to blog, read, watch television, or simply browse the web and have a little quiet time. Notice, chores do not appear anywhere on that list unless absolutely necessary.

I reacted instinctively. I fussed. The first time. And the second time. And the third time. By the fourth and fifth time I had escalated to slightly nasty hissing. By the sixth and seventh time, when he assured me he would indeed stay in his room this time, I had spiraled downward into quiet yelling (his sister was still sleeping after all) and accusations of lying. He ended up crying and I felt pretty crappy for yelling at a four year old child.

I needed a whole new approach. I printed out a sticker reward chart and hung it up in his room. We reviewed naptime rules (you may not leave your room, you have to play quietly enough so that you won't disturb your sister). I reduced the amount of time he needs to stay in his room by 15 minutes. I allowed him to bring some new toys in his room. I told him that every time he followed all the naptime rules he could put one sticker on the chart. Every time he gets five stickers he may choose a piece of candy.

He was so excited. We don't get candy often around here. We finally threw out the halloween candy a few weeks ago. That afternoon break is completely worth 1-2 pieces of candy a week to me. Since then, we have had two absolutely perfect nap times. He is proud and excited when nap time is over and he gets to put that sticker on his chart.

The combination of making my expectations clear and reasonable, bringing some toys up so his playtime is more interesting, and setting up a reward system worked wonders overnight. I feel great about saving my afternoon break and he feels great about his sticker chart. Taking the time to set up a positive reinforcement system was definitely worth it.

How to Eat Green Beans - Cook Till Half-Past Ten

We were having green beans with lunch yesterday. Michael also had some ketchup on his plate. The ketchup was intended to be a dip for his chicken. My husband and I noticed Michael happily dipping his green beans in his ketchup as if they were finger food and munching away.

We raised our eyes a little and exchanged a subtle glance that said "ick," but didn't draw attention to the situation. After all, he was happily eating green beans and requested a second helping.

Then he sweetly offered me a green bean dipped in ketchup and asked me if I wanted a taste. I reasonably replied, "No thank you sweetheart, I already have my own." He was too smart for that though. Without skipping a beat he countered with, "But momma, this one is covered in ketchup!"

Well, that certainly put me on the spot. I wasn't the slightest bit interested in tasting that green bean. We've discussed the concept of taste buds before and how everyone has slightly different taste buds which is why different people like different foods. So, I told him that my taste buds like their green beans plain, but thank you for offering.

That seemed to be the end of that. Conversation, and the meal, moved on for a while with no more discussion of how to eat green beans. Then Michael started to explain how you make ketchup-covered green beans. First, you cook the green beans. Then you cover them in ketchup. Then you put them in the oven and cook them again until half-past ten. Then you get to eat them.

Nice to know he has it all worked out.