Heart on His Sleeve

Michael is at an age where he is beginning to be interested in playing with his peers. I watch him play with his sister, or with a friend during a play date, or even in the play place at the mall or McDonalds. He tries so hard.

He'll carefully set up an activity in his room. Last week it was a picnic. He carried a blanket, pretend food, and play dishes up two flights of stairs from the basement to his bedroom. He spread out the blanket in the middle of the room and laid out a beautiful picnic. Then he excitedly ran down the stairs to invite his sister to play. She wasn't interested. First he invited. Then he wheedled and whined. Finally he broke into tears. I didn't know what to do. I felt for him. I wanted her to want to go. But she didn't. She's still too little. She wanted to be near me. I suppose I could have dropped what I was doing to go upstairs with both of them, but I didn't. I don't remember why.

During a play date a couple of days ago Michael desperately wanted to show his friend one of his birthday presents. Again, he was practically quivering with excitement. It is adorable and he is just so earnest and genuine. And his friend was more interested in playing with something else. And he melted down, again.

At the play place I see him look at the other children and carefully choose someone who looks his age to be his friend. He'll walk over and introduce himself and ask the other child's name. More often than not, the other child simply goes their way. I watch other children successfully bond. Even Ava is beginning to be able to do it. But it doesn't quite work for Michael and I can't quite put my finger on why. He's often on the periphery of the group.

I see this as a budding issue on two levels. First, I wish I could figure out why socializing isn't quite gelling for him. If I could figure that out, perhaps I could subtly redirect him to be more successful. The second level is his sensitivity to rejection. The meltdowns are heartbreaking for him and for me. And they don't help the social situation. Surely the solution isn't to "reject" him at home on purpose when he invites me to do something just so that I can try to help him handle the feeling...

If anyone has any wisdom or resources to share here I'd really appreciate it because I'd love to find a way to help my sensitive little boy and I don't have a lot of ideas.

At Home Therapy Plan 2.0 (or is it 3.0? 5.0?...)

I finally gave up on self-discipline. Almost a year later I still hadn't found a way to consistently do therapy with Ava during the day. I'm a speech therapist. My daughter needs speech therapy. This shouldn't be a difficult equation!

So, I enlisted my husband's help. The newest plan involves dinner. It is our most consistent group meal. We sit down as a complete family at home at least 5-7 days a week. After dinner, Michael helps his father clear the table and load the dishwasher while Ava and I do speech.

It's been a little over a week and this seems to be working. It's the routine. Everyone knows and expects this particular plan, so I don't have to remember all by myself.

Now getting Ava to cooperate so that we actually get speech practice instead of pouting in is an entirely different matter. I tried being firm. Boy can she be stubborn. She's perfectly happy to sit in time out, or forgo some fun activity later in order to avoid speech now.

I admit it. I have resorted to simple bribery. My children rarely get candy. We just don't keep it around and so they don't expect it. If I pull out a single pink starburst candy, show it to her, and tell her she can have it if she does a good job at speech, I get a beautiful session. I leave it right there in the middle of the table in full view. When she starts to slip and get pouty because I ask for three repetitions of something difficult (stupid /k/) then I don't even have to say anything. I just reach my finger over and slide that piece of candy a little farther away from her. Our eyes meet and I raise my eyebrows a little and she's back with the program.

I feel a little like I -should- feel guilty about this, but I don't. One piece of candy a day is certainly not going to kill her and the consistency of cooperative speech sessions is priceless.

There you go. I wouldn't exactly recommend it for professional practice, but it's working here in my own home.

Fall

When we were rearranging Ava's room we moved a bunch of treasured belongings crap into the upstairs landing area. It's still there. We'll get to it eventually.

A few nights ago as I was getting ready to head up to bed I heard the distinctive sound of a kitty batting something around in play. I went around the corner to investigate. The sound was coming from above. I looked up and to my horror our kitten Grace was dashing around the upstairs landing on the -outside- of the rail.

I must have gasped and startled her because she startled, slipped, and fell off the landing heading for the hardwood floor a full story below.

Did you guys read that news story about a woman walking by on a street who caught a baby who had fallen off a balcony? I am so not that woman. My reaction time is s l o w. Grace crashed into the floor before I had even fully processed what was going on.

I was terrified, briefly. But she scrambled up and ran off as if she hadn't just fallen straight down from one floor to another onto a hard wooden floor. It took much longer for me to calm down and for my heart rate to return to normal than the entire event took to begin with.

And the moral of this story...?

I have no idea. :-). Don't count on me to catch you if you fall? Kittens really can fall at least one story without harm? Be thankful when disaster passes you by?