Preparing Early

I've been slow to hop on board the Halloween excitement train. The very first year Michael was about to turn one and I was pregnant with Ava. My parents did Halloween with Michael and I stayed home and rested.

The second year my children were old enough to really participate. Michael was about to turn two and Ava was not yet one. We bought costumes at the last minute at Old Navy choosing from the few costumes that were still available in the appropriate sizes. Michael was a tiger and Ava was a kitty. It was fine, but they wore the costumes for about 45 minutes total.

Last year they were a little more excited. We waited too long again (about a month before Halloween) and chose from limited options at Old Navy a second time. Michael was a dragon and Ava was a bee. They were baby costumes. The ones that are sort of like sticking your children into a stuffed animal.

This year Michael is old enough to remember the last Halloween and to be excited about the coming Halloween. I actually remembered that waiting until the end of September was going to result in poor selection. Last night we made an outing of going to look at costumes. We went to Cracker Barrel which often has cute costumes. We found a couple of cute costumes in appropriate sizes. Then we went next door and treated the children to half of a chocolate Krispy Creme doughnut with sprinkles each. They were so excited. All in all a successful night.

Michael's fireman costume will need some sort of pants and a warm shirt underneath the jacket. Ava's costume will need some method of keeping her warm. Perhaps a long-sleeve leotard and heavy tights? So, we're not completely done preparing yet. But it is nice to be a little ahead of schedule this year.

Arbitrary Dictates vs. Negotiation

As much as possible, I try to avoid making completely arbitrary decisions with my children. You know the ones. I'm talking about when you tell them "no" simply because that was the first response that came to mind. Or just because it is more convenient to tell them no than to let them make a mess pulling out yet another toy. Often, when I catch myself having made a completely arbitrary decision, I will change my mind. I'll say, "You know, I thought about it and actually I've decided that that is okay after all."

And then I read How to Land Your Kid in Therapy. The article talks about a lot of things that made me think. One small section talks about parents that don't actually say "no" and stick with it.

I started paying attention. My children negotiate a lot. Here's an example.

Me: When we get home it will be naptime. We'll have to go straight upstairs.
Them: Can we play a little first?
Me: No.
Them: Just one minute?
Me: Ok. Just one minute.

And then we really do play for only a short time. I usually feel like compromise and being flexible are good things to model, but as I started to pay attention I began to realize that my children seem to thing absolutely everything is up for negotiation.

I want to dress Ava. She wants to debate every single item of clothing and who gets to put it on how quickly. I want to get the children in the car and they want to choose a toy first. I say this is the last television show and they want just one more.

Now, I don't want to give the impression that my children are out of control. They are usually very well behaved and their requests are often fairly reasonable and not particularly disruptive to routine. However, I'm not sure that I want the take home message to be that I can always be negotiated with and I never really mean what I say.

I feel like one end of the spectrum is the "I expect you do do what I say when I say it." school of parenting while the other end of the spectrum is the "My child is a person and should do whatever they want." end of the spectrum. I'd like to fall somewhere in the middle, where I respect them and take their wants and feelings into consideration, but they respect me as the parent and ultimate decision maker. I'm just not sure that I'm achieving that at the moment.

Anyway, it was an interesting train of thought and I'm trying to be a bit less negotiable for a while. Where do all of you fall on the spectrum?

Playing with the Alphabet

I bought some of the clear glass gems that lots of people use in flower vases or fish tanks and tried to recreate a project I found in a magazine. I believe the magazine was Family Fun, but I couldn't swear to it. I searched through some old magazines and cut out letters of appropriate size and glued them onto the backs of the gems using regular school glue. As soon as I buy them, I'll glue circle magnets onto the backs of the alphabet gems.

The kids are very much enjoying playing with them already even though they don't have magnets yet.

I had some extra glass gems leftover after I had finished my alphabet, so I found some suffixes and blends and made those as well.

If the children were a little older, they would have enjoyed helping to find and cut out the letters. My little ones just played with cutting up the pages of the magazines I didn't need.

And to give credit where credit is due, my cousin participated cheerfully in much of the project helping to create at least a third of the alphabet.