Until recently, our house has been full of two babies. Or a baby and a toddler. Or two toddlers. Or a preschooler and a toddler. At all of those stages the children have been very parent focused. At first it was just crying, and then came the "Mommy, Daddy, come play with me stage." It was as if they had no toys or space to play in unless an adult was at their side. They simply didn't seem to know how to play on their own. (Notable exception: Michael can play for over an hour in his room if he is supposed to be falling asleep.)
Recently I am beginning to see glimpses of a more independent future. Michael in particular will occasionally become absorbed in a self-directed activity for 30-45 minutes at a time. When an older playmate comes over, they will all disappear for half an hour at a time. They are beginning to see each other as playmates instead of always depending on me. Michael will "whisper" something to Ava that he doesn't want me to hear. (His whisper needs some work, I can pretty much always hear what he is saying.) They will converse with each other in the car. As long as they are not the one causing the other to cry, they will try to comfort each other when someone is upset. When Ava is away (at her grandparents, taking a nap, off to a therapy session, etc.) and returns home, the first person she looks for is Michael.
It is wonderful watching their independence and relationship as siblings develop simultaneously and in an interconnected way. This is what I was hoping for when I made the completely impractical decision to get pregnant when my first child was only 6 months old.
A Speech Pathologist Mother and Her Daughter Diagnosed with Childhood Apraxia of Speech
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Apraxia Adventures
You might notice that I've added another blog to my blog list (lower right). It is called Apraxia Adventures and is written by a mother of a young daughter with apraxia. She attended the CASANA conference held this past weekend and wrote a great post about a session she attended that was conducted by five young adults who had all been diagnosed with Childhood Apraxia of Speech when they were little. Laura's thoughts about the session and the young adults who conducted the session are a valuable read for anyone who wonders what the future holds for their little one.
Difficult in pairs
Ava is experiencing a return of the Mama Phase. See here and here for the original version of the Mama Phase. I'm sure it didn't appear from nowhere, but somehow I didn't notice until it hit critical. Ava now wants me to do everything for her and refuses to accept attention and assistance from anyone else. She doesn't want her Daddy to kiss her hello or goodbye. She doesn't want her Daddy to get her from her room in the morning or after nap. She doesn't want her Daddy to help her go to the bathroom, dress her for bed, read her stories, get her milk, wipe her face, or anything else. "No! Mommy do it!" is the phrase we hear all the time around here.
This time, we know better than to give in. We learned last time that giving in only makes it worse. We also know that the way to fix it is to give her reduced Mama time and extra Daddy time (making it fun) until the phase passes. It is even more "fun" this time around though because she has so much more speech. As she was pitching a huge fit the other day because Daddy happened to be the one carrying her out of Chick-Fil-A instead of Mommy, she tried a variety of tactics to get him to switch. "I need Mommy" didn't work. Then she tried, "I need to pee, I need to go poopy, I need to get down." Sigh. These situations are even more fun in a crowded public setting. So that's Ava right now.
And then there's Michael. It just wouldn't be as much fun if my children didn't experience their difficult phases at the same time. I remember saying the following statement. I remember saying it to multiple people, on multiple occasions, over several months if not years. I really should have known better. I said, "Unlike Ava, Michael is fundamentally a rule follower. He usually pretty much listens to what I say and doesn't question it much."
Oh boy. Little did I know that he was just saving up all his defiance for 3 1/2 instead of for the "terrible twos". You name it, he's trying it right now. Where did my sweet, compliant little boy go? I say, "Don't do X." He immediately responds by doing the forbidden action. Then, in the action specifically designed to increase my temper into the red zone he giggles and runs around in glee at my obvious anger. He's hitting, throwing, and making messes several times a day. In his defense, they're all pretty low level versions of those things and he's obviously just testing, but it is driving me crazy. I need to take a step back and come up with some kind of plan, because I really don't like the amount of yelling I've been doing recently and it isn't working anyway. Ideas?
Oh, and as a bonus, when not dealing with all of the above, the Why phase rages on here as well and it is contagious. Now they're both at it. They take turns. This one doesn't bother me as much though. It gets to the point where it is just funny. I enjoy trying to think of the answer to the next why that I know is coming as soon as I finish the last response.
I hope all of your parenting adventures are going more smoothly than mine.
This time, we know better than to give in. We learned last time that giving in only makes it worse. We also know that the way to fix it is to give her reduced Mama time and extra Daddy time (making it fun) until the phase passes. It is even more "fun" this time around though because she has so much more speech. As she was pitching a huge fit the other day because Daddy happened to be the one carrying her out of Chick-Fil-A instead of Mommy, she tried a variety of tactics to get him to switch. "I need Mommy" didn't work. Then she tried, "I need to pee, I need to go poopy, I need to get down." Sigh. These situations are even more fun in a crowded public setting. So that's Ava right now.
And then there's Michael. It just wouldn't be as much fun if my children didn't experience their difficult phases at the same time. I remember saying the following statement. I remember saying it to multiple people, on multiple occasions, over several months if not years. I really should have known better. I said, "Unlike Ava, Michael is fundamentally a rule follower. He usually pretty much listens to what I say and doesn't question it much."
Oh boy. Little did I know that he was just saving up all his defiance for 3 1/2 instead of for the "terrible twos". You name it, he's trying it right now. Where did my sweet, compliant little boy go? I say, "Don't do X." He immediately responds by doing the forbidden action. Then, in the action specifically designed to increase my temper into the red zone he giggles and runs around in glee at my obvious anger. He's hitting, throwing, and making messes several times a day. In his defense, they're all pretty low level versions of those things and he's obviously just testing, but it is driving me crazy. I need to take a step back and come up with some kind of plan, because I really don't like the amount of yelling I've been doing recently and it isn't working anyway. Ideas?
Oh, and as a bonus, when not dealing with all of the above, the Why phase rages on here as well and it is contagious. Now they're both at it. They take turns. This one doesn't bother me as much though. It gets to the point where it is just funny. I enjoy trying to think of the answer to the next why that I know is coming as soon as I finish the last response.
I hope all of your parenting adventures are going more smoothly than mine.
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