Complacency and Marathons

When I finally accepted that I needed to get help for Ava, she tested so low, and the label Childhood Apraxia of Speech was spoken out loud it had a huge, profound impact on me. I was very depressed. I had difficulty thinking about anything else. My mind constantly circled around questions that simply cannot be answered right now about how much progress Ava will make and what will the impact of all of this have on her childhood and future.

After a few weeks I passed through the "this has rocked my world and not in a good way" stage and into a more productive stage. There was a flurry of research, self-education, setting up appointments, starting therapy, getting hearing checked, surgery for PE tubes, learning and using sign language, making and setting up communication boards, IFSP meetings, considering and trying nutritional supplements, and blogging about all of the above. And, it was all worth it. We saw changes in Ava's ability to communicate - dramatic and celebrated changes.

I began to breathe a sigh of relief. Yes, the disorder is still there, but it is responding to treatment. I relaxed. I gave myself permission to stop pushing Ava so much at home. To be honest, she didn't respond well when I tried to sit her down at home and do structured therapy with her myself and so I stopped even trying. I switched to a more indirect method of working with her through books and songs and correcting the many utterances we get each day as a natural part of our daily life. So much positive change had taken place so quickly that I began to think that we were "okay." Perhaps we were lucky enough that Ava's apraxia was so mild that we could get her "caught up" in a 1-2 year time frame rather than a much more extended time frame.

Then, our first standardized articulation test was a bit of a reality check and I realized how she is still very far behind her same-age peers. I had become a bit complacent. The progress Ava had already made was such a relief that I forgot that there is still a long way to go. I haven't quite decided what to do about that yet, but over the next couple of weeks I'm going to be thinking about ways I can focus on Ava's speech more here at home again. I'd like to build in some speech time every day in a way that hopefully she and I can both enjoy. I need to remember that this journey is something of a marathon and that I cannot just simply hope that we've come far enough that the rest will magically take care of itself.

Memorial Day, Birthday, Visits

I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day. It was the last day of our family visit. We had a great visit. It was a nice balance of activity (zoo, restaurants, outdoor play) and just hanging out at the house (lots of erector set building, good conversation, and general horseplay with the children). Ava joined in the conversations with everyone else. It was really the first time we've had houseguests since Ava's started talking so much. She did a pretty good job of communicating. Most of the time, our guests were able to figure out what she was trying to say. I took comfort from that.

We spent some time outside in the sprinkler. Traditionally, my children are extremely suspicious of sprinklers and treat them with great caution. Today, we seemed to break through and the kids started to run through the sprinkler and laugh and giggle with glee. I loved watching them play. As I looked back at the pictures I realized how similar in size the kids look right now. I understand why people occasionally ask us if they are twins. There were many things that were difficult about having children 15 months apart, but it is starting to pay off now. I love watching them play together and talk together more and more as peers.

(Yes, Michael does indeed have his swim pants on backwards. He did that after a trip to the bathroom. When we pointed it out to him he said, "I like them that way." We just let it go. It gives the pictures that special, unique touch.)

Yesterday was also my birthday. We didn't do anything spectacular to celebrate, but my husband made sure my day was special in little ways that all added up. First, he let me sleep in. Several times during the day he took care of things (lunch, putting the kids down for nap) letting me have a few quiet moments to myself. Those things sound little, but around here they are much appreciated. It was a nice, quiet birthday.

Erector Set Marathon

Michael's godmother is in town for the holiday weekend and she brought him an Erector Set! He loves it. For the past three days he wants to play with it every spare moment. Of course, what that actually means is that he requests that an adult build something for him. The chosen adult spends 45 minutes building the requested model while he plays with random extra parts. The instant the model is done he plays with it for five minutes and then immediately disassembles it. We have at least convinced him that it is polite to ask the builder if it is all right before he begins deconstruction.

Here are just a few of the models he disassembled shortly after they were completed. We all had fun though.