Testy yet trying

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I'm sad you yelled at me.

Michael is a really sensitive child. He gets really upset when he feels he's being fussed at or criticized. When I lose my patience and yell unfairly, I try to apologize and give him a hug. As I'm hugging him and apologizing to him I can feel the tension drain from his body and it is clear from his behavior that he is able to move on much better than when I don't apologize and hug him.

Now, I never really raise my voice significantly, but I do let my children know via tone of voice when I am frustrated with their behavior. Due to the nature of a toddler and preschooler sharing the same space, I find myself fussing several times a day. Typical conflicts usually involve sharing or following directions in a semi-timely manner.

Lately, Michael has taken to responding to every correction by saying, "Mommy, I'm sad that you yelled at me." accompanied by a really pitiful face. He's obviously fishing for an apology every single time he's being corrected. I'm torn as to how to handle the situation. I usually say something to the effect of, "Yes, Mama did probably fuss louder than she needed to, but I was frustrated that you ______" (fill in the blank with the current misbehavior of the moment).

I'm not happy with that response though. Am I really trying to teach him that it's all right to yell when you're frustrated? Nope. Perhaps a better response would be, "Sometimes mommies fuss when their children aren't listening. Next time, you can share with your sister and Mama won't need to fuss." I should still apologize when I cross the line and fuss out of frustration rather than a desire to correct misbehavior, but when the fussing is appropriate I should just say so?

Any thoughts? How do you other parents of little ones handle similar situations? How do you think I should respond?

Thanks for the Positive Reinforcement

I've gotten a couple of nice emails this week and a few thoughtful comments. I wanted to take a moment to say thank you to all of the readers that take the time to say something. I really enjoy hearing from you. I read every email and comment and make the time to reply. It encourages me to keep working on this website and lets me know that people are out there who enjoy reading the posts and find useful information here. So, thank you!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Favorite Children's Picture Books

I love reading with my children and I love children's books. I loved them as a child. I loved them as a teacher and Speech-Language Pathologist. And I love them as a parent. I will read to my children whenever they ask. At minimum we read before nap and bedtime. I wanted to share a couple of my favorite children's series and authors with you.

Iza Trapani

Iza Trapani takes classic nursery rhymes and adds extra verses to make the rhyme into a story. The Itsy Bitsy Spider tries to climb several things in addition to the water spout before finally succeeding in spinning her web. A family of bears is taking a boat trip down the river in Row, Row, Row Your Boat. In How Much is that Doggie in the Window a boy tries to earn the money to buy himself the dog he admires in the pet store window. In I'm a Little Teapot the teapot takes some children on an imaginary journey around the world. These are just a few of Iza Trapani's books. Her books are often available in both board book and paperback. I personally prefer the size and durability of the board books for reading with a young child in my lap. These books have a lot of longevity too. I've been reading them to Michael since he was a baby. When he was a baby he just liked the songs. When he was a toddler he still enjoyed the songs and he also loved the pictures and paid some attention to the stories. Now, approaching 3 1/2, he's noticing all of the details (and there are many) in the pictures and loves the extra verses in the stories. The books have grown with him. It's hard to choose, but these are our favorites:

I'm a Little Teapot
The Itsy Bitsy Spider
How Much is That Doggie in the Window?
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star
Baa Baa Black Sheep

Karma Wilson

Karma Wilson has written a lot of children's books, but we love two series in particular. The first is for younger children and are board books. We've only read two of the series although there are at least four. It is a series about a kitten named Calico. The books have a wonderful rhythm and the adventures of the mischievous kitten really appeal to the kids. The second series is about a bear and his group of forest friends and is a really wonderful series of books. We have all of them and they are great. They are fun to read, the illustrations are wonderful and the stories are sweet. They appeal to both my toddler and my preschooler. I'm going to list both Calico books and our four favorites out of the six Bear books currently available.