Ava’s surgery went well. It was a stressful day for everyone though. We needed to be at the hospital by 6:15 am. We couldn’t give her anything other than clear liquids and nothing after 5am. So we woke her up at 5:00 in the morning and gave her some apple juice. Then we dressed her and popped her in the car for the ride to the hospital. Michael spent the night and then the morning with his grandfather (my mother was still in the hospital).
Ava pitched a fit when they put on her identification bracelet. Then she pitched another fit when they took her vitals. Then we got to wait. They decided to give her something for her anxiety because they couldn’t imagine her separating from us any other way. It worked beautifully. A loopy toddler is actually cute and a bit funny. They took her back to surgery and as I understand it, they put her under first with the mask before putting in her IV. If she were only having the tubes put in, they wouldn’t have needed the IV at all.
Putting in the tubes went smoothly. She still has a lot of fluid in her right ear although the left was clear. We definitely made the right decision about the tubes. It’s been 2-3 months solid now that she’s had fluid in one ear and maybe both. That has a huge impact on hearing. After her ears were drained they did the hearing test. The audiologist said her hearing is great which is wonderful news.
When I got to the recovery area Ava was in a groggy panic. They let her wake up without me and with the IV still in and strapped to her hand and arm. She was extremely upset about the IV. They apparently wanted to leave it in until they were sure she wasn’t going to throw up. I asked them to take it out and explained that she wasn’t going to calm down until it was out. After that it was just a matter of giving her some juice and graham crackers and waiting an hour or so until they let us go home.
We were home by lunch and Ava was eating a cheese roll up as if nothing unusual had happened that morning. Overall, a decent experience. I’m grateful everything went well. It’s good to know she can finally hear because all the fluid is gone and that the tubes will keep it from building up in there again. It's also good to know for sure that there isn't an underlying hearing loss separate from the fluid in the middle ear issue.
So now, we can move on with therapy knowing that Ava can hear us clearly.
A Speech Pathologist Mother and Her Daughter Diagnosed with Childhood Apraxia of Speech
Friday, March 4, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Apraxia and infant bonding
This topic is a touchy one for me. I think it is because it ties in to my opinion of myself as a mother. I was always good with kids. Good with babies. I had lots of younger cousins and entertained them at family gatherings well before I was old enough to babysit. Once in high school and through the first two years of college I did a ton of babysitting. Then I chose to work with children as my profession.
I just assumed I’d be a wonderful mother. Before Michael was born I imagined bonding with him as an infant. I imagined he’s be comforted by my arms, voice, and face. I imagined playing peek-a-boo, singing songs, exchanging smiles and baby-talk. What I got was a baby who cried almost nonstop for 8 months. He didn’t seem to be comforted any more by me than by anyone else. He didn’t smile on schedule. He didn’t laugh on schedule. He preferred looking past me at the lights behind me rather than looking into my eyes. We never played peek-a-boo. He didn’t babble. I thought people were exaggerating when they talked about bonding with their infants. I thought they were reading things into their children’s behavior that weren’t there. I just didn’t realize exactly how different Michael’s early development was.
Ava followed only 15 and a half months later. She was a little more typical. She didn’t have the fascination with lights and the eye contact avoidance. She didn’t cry as much. She did seem to prefer her parents somewhat to others. In comparison, she seemed like such an easier baby. In retrospect, she still didn’t smile, laugh, coo, or babble on schedule. We still didn’t have that give and take, that positive feedback loop that leads to the early bonding so many people have with their infants.
My husband and I just thought we weren’t baby people. We didn’t realize that we were having a perfectly normal reaction to the fact that our children weren’t as socially interactive as a typical infant. It’s hard to bond with a baby that doesn’t smile at you. It’s hard to bond with a baby that doesn’t play the typical back and forth infant games like peek-a-boo and other finger plays. Without that interaction, bonding is just more difficult and will happen slower.
When I was watching home videos I came across one of Ava when she had just started to smile. She was almost 4 months old. It was difficult to get her to smile, and when I did it was in response to tickling (a physical stimulus), not in response to a social overture. She almost seemed to be struggling. I can remember that Michael’s first laugh was in response to being thrown up in the air and caught again – also in response to a physical stimulus. And he was much older.
Looking back on it now, I think much of this could be related to the apraxia. The late smiles and laughs and the lack of babbling are all early red flags for apraxia. I never really reflected on the impact that has on the parent’s relationship with their baby – and their confidence in themselves as a parent.
Has anyone else had a similar experience? It would make for an amazing research study.
I just assumed I’d be a wonderful mother. Before Michael was born I imagined bonding with him as an infant. I imagined he’s be comforted by my arms, voice, and face. I imagined playing peek-a-boo, singing songs, exchanging smiles and baby-talk. What I got was a baby who cried almost nonstop for 8 months. He didn’t seem to be comforted any more by me than by anyone else. He didn’t smile on schedule. He didn’t laugh on schedule. He preferred looking past me at the lights behind me rather than looking into my eyes. We never played peek-a-boo. He didn’t babble. I thought people were exaggerating when they talked about bonding with their infants. I thought they were reading things into their children’s behavior that weren’t there. I just didn’t realize exactly how different Michael’s early development was.
Ava followed only 15 and a half months later. She was a little more typical. She didn’t have the fascination with lights and the eye contact avoidance. She didn’t cry as much. She did seem to prefer her parents somewhat to others. In comparison, she seemed like such an easier baby. In retrospect, she still didn’t smile, laugh, coo, or babble on schedule. We still didn’t have that give and take, that positive feedback loop that leads to the early bonding so many people have with their infants.
My husband and I just thought we weren’t baby people. We didn’t realize that we were having a perfectly normal reaction to the fact that our children weren’t as socially interactive as a typical infant. It’s hard to bond with a baby that doesn’t smile at you. It’s hard to bond with a baby that doesn’t play the typical back and forth infant games like peek-a-boo and other finger plays. Without that interaction, bonding is just more difficult and will happen slower.
When I was watching home videos I came across one of Ava when she had just started to smile. She was almost 4 months old. It was difficult to get her to smile, and when I did it was in response to tickling (a physical stimulus), not in response to a social overture. She almost seemed to be struggling. I can remember that Michael’s first laugh was in response to being thrown up in the air and caught again – also in response to a physical stimulus. And he was much older.
Looking back on it now, I think much of this could be related to the apraxia. The late smiles and laughs and the lack of babbling are all early red flags for apraxia. I never really reflected on the impact that has on the parent’s relationship with their baby – and their confidence in themselves as a parent.
Has anyone else had a similar experience? It would make for an amazing research study.
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Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Doubt
Ava has been making progress quickly. It’s a blessing I am truly grateful for. However, an interesting side effect is that people (family, friends) are beginning to ask me if I perhaps over-reacted. Perhaps Ava is just a late talker after all. Perhaps she’ll catch up just like Michael did. Ava's swift progress combined with questions from others and the reluctance from other professionals to officially diagnose began to make me doubt myself.
So I went to our home videos. I wanted to compare Ava’s speech now (about two months after she first started making progress) to Michael’s speech at that same point – two months after he first started making progress. That would be when he was about 18-19 months old. It was interesting. Most of the time his speech sounded very much like Ava’s speech right now. He didn’t have any final consonants either. He was using mostly one word utterances. But, and this is a big but, when he did combine words he easily put two to three words together. Neither word sounded exactly like the adult version of the word, but they were combined easily and you could tell them apart. You could tell that he was saying two different words and combining them with no difficulty. That is a huge contrast with Ava. She has to work to try to combine words. When she tries they usually all come out the same. This is not typical.
Michael did not develop on a typical timeline, and his early history was atypical, but once things finally got started they followed a typical developmental pattern. That is a late talker. That is a delay, not a disorder. Ava is different. She needed therapy (and possibly fish oil supplementation) to get started. And now that things are started, the development does not look typical. This is disorder, not a delay. I don’t know yet what the future holds for her. The great progress so far gives me hope that her disorder (suspected CAS) is on the milder end of the spectrum. I am sure, however, that this is a disorder and not a delay. I am not over-reacting. I will continue to do everything in my power to help her. Both my professional and my mama instincts tell me that. And my research confirms it.
So I went to our home videos. I wanted to compare Ava’s speech now (about two months after she first started making progress) to Michael’s speech at that same point – two months after he first started making progress. That would be when he was about 18-19 months old. It was interesting. Most of the time his speech sounded very much like Ava’s speech right now. He didn’t have any final consonants either. He was using mostly one word utterances. But, and this is a big but, when he did combine words he easily put two to three words together. Neither word sounded exactly like the adult version of the word, but they were combined easily and you could tell them apart. You could tell that he was saying two different words and combining them with no difficulty. That is a huge contrast with Ava. She has to work to try to combine words. When she tries they usually all come out the same. This is not typical.
Michael did not develop on a typical timeline, and his early history was atypical, but once things finally got started they followed a typical developmental pattern. That is a late talker. That is a delay, not a disorder. Ava is different. She needed therapy (and possibly fish oil supplementation) to get started. And now that things are started, the development does not look typical. This is disorder, not a delay. I don’t know yet what the future holds for her. The great progress so far gives me hope that her disorder (suspected CAS) is on the milder end of the spectrum. I am sure, however, that this is a disorder and not a delay. I am not over-reacting. I will continue to do everything in my power to help her. Both my professional and my mama instincts tell me that. And my research confirms it.
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