The secret and the consequences

I have discovered the secret to getting my children to enthusiastically finish off an entire bowl of carrots (or cucumbers or celery) and then come begging for more. First, provide dip. Second, give it to them before the meal. Serve it when they’re hungry, but you haven’t finished getting dinner ready yet. I put out a bowl of raw veggies with a side of dip and they go to town. If I serve it with the meal they’ll eat one or two. If I serve it before the meal they’ll polish off a whole bowl and ask for more.

I did this the other day, but told them “no” when they asked for seconds. I wanted them to be hungry for the rest of the meal. A few minutes later they wandered into the kitchen hands and faces covered in ranch dip. Since they were out of carrots they had just decided to finish off the dip with their hands. Sigh. I said to Michael as I was wiping off his hands, “In the future, we do not eat dip with our hands.” He asked, “Is this the future?”

A magical 90 seconds

Imagine, if you will, a play place at the mall. In it there is a small rowboat divided into two sections by a small bench to sit on. On one side of the bench, nestled in the spot where the feet would go if you were sitting on the bench, is a young girl perhaps 2 ½ or 3 years old. Ava crawled into the other side facing the bench and the girl.

Now, what would usually happen here is that the other child would make some sort of friendly advance towards Ava. She would respond by screaming and turning away as if she’d been attacked in some way and I would have to apologize to the parent and explain that Ava reacts that way to everyone. I promise. Their child had been perfectly polite – friendly even. Then Ava would run/crawl/climb away as quickly as possible while I try to explain to her that the other child was just trying to be nice.

This time was different – wonderfully different. The other little girl glanced at Ava, only briefly, and smiled and then began drumming on the bench. Ava smiled back and began drumming too. They were playing together. Both laughing. Making eye contact. When one would stop, the other would start again and more laughter and drumming ensued. At one point the other little girl stood up saying, “Up!” and Ava immediately mimicked her standing up and saying “Uh!” And then they both sat down and drummed some more.

Then two other little girls tried to climb in too and broke the magic spell. At that point things were way too crowded for Ava and she left. The whole thing couldn’t have lasted more than 90 seconds, but they were a magical 90 seconds.

Imagine, other parents take such things for granted.

Playdates

Our neighborhood is filled with little boys. One little boy, who lives up the street, is only six weeks older than Michael. Let’s call him Justin. I ran into Justin’s family during one of the walks I took with Michael his first summer when he was only six months old or so and I was desperately trying to stop the crying. By the time the boys were about a year old we were doing regular weekly playdates. It’s great. They’re a wonderful family and I’ve enjoyed watching the boys go from babies that played near each other to little boys who are beginning to play with each other.

At two (almost), as you all know, I felt Ava was also ready for regular playdates. And just last week through pure luck I stumbled upon a little girl right here in our neighborhood only a few months older than Ava. Let’s call her Sara. Sara even goes to Ava’s daycare and when Ava turns two in another week she’ll be moving into Sara’s class. So the girls will be together two mornings a week until Sara moves up to the next class. Sara’s mother is really nice and we set up our first playdate this past weekend. The girls seemed to have fun. They’re a little too young to really play together, but they played nicely in the same space with the same toys. We have another playdate set up for next weekend. I hope we can continue to get together with this family. They seem nice and it is such a gift for a child to have a friend that lives nearby. Hopefully I’m planting that seed.