Genes

Well, my husband is my perfect partner. That sounds terribly sappy, but it’s true all the same. I would not trade him for anything. I think we combine in a way that makes amazing, sweet, smart, kind children. However, those children do not have typical language development.

Ava has been the main topic here because we’re dealing with her diagnosis of apraxia, but that story actually begins with Michael. My pregnancy with Michael was completely normal and full term. Natural, uncomplicated birth. Healthy 8 lb, 6 oz. baby boy. He did have rather severe newborn jaundice which wasn’t well treated, but that’s a story for another time. He screamed for months. I kid you not. Somewhere 6 months in or so I remember asking my husband if he would ever be happy and awake at the same time. I was worried even then. He didn’t make eye contact. He was more interested in the lights or ceiling fan than in faces. We didn’t get the smiles or coos. There was very little interaction. Almost no babbling. He didn’t even make vowel sounds until 8 months of age. When he’d play with toys he was more interested in the screws on the bottom of the toy than in actually playing with it. He wasn’t interested in turn taking games like pat-a-cake. Red flags were everywhere and a speech-pathologist I saw them. But I was a new mom and insecure, and no one else seemed to be listening.

He had no words at his one year pediatrician visit. Our pediatrician told me if he didn’t have three words at his 15 month visit we’d begin testing. He had three- barely - at that visit and they all had come in that week. (Ava was born, incidentally only 2 weeks after that 15 month pediatrician visit). When he did begin talking, his first sounds were very atypical. He had /k/ and /g/ and enjoyed making clicking sounds with his mouth. I was very concerned. And about more than just his speech.

And then it just clicked. The words came more and more quickly. Ten words, then 50, then more than we could count. Two to three word combinations came between 20-22 months of age and he was using 3-5 word sentences at two. At three he’s pretty much completely intelligible to strangers and using long sentences with complex structures and vocabulary.

It was our own little miracle. A breathtaking relief. And the experience completely colored the way we looked at Ava’s development.

Expanding Horizons

My son is a little over three years old. I am watching him explore his world and his place in it. It’s extraordinary to watch his world expand little by little and see him gain confidence. We waited a long time to switch him from his crib to a toddler bed simply because he was so happy in his crib. He would play happily for an hour before falling asleep and another hour after he woke up before he would call for someone to get him. He slept well. We didn’t see any need to change that prematurely. However, as he approached his third birthday we decided to make the switch and he was excited about it. It made me a little sad though that I would go up to get him an hour or so after he woke up and find him still in the bed. It didn’t even occur to him that he could crawl out on his own.

Then one day it just happened. He left the crib. And chaos ensued. He’d still happily play in his room…but for two or three hours. And never fall asleep. Overnight he went from taking two and a half hour naps to no naps at all. I loved that he was enjoying a new level of independence. I was still essentially getting a break in the afternoon since he happily spent all of that time in his room, but he still needed the sleep. I finally found a solution. I let him play for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and then I go sit in a chair in his room. That effectively pins him to his bed and he falls asleep within 10 minutes. And sleeps for at least 2 hours.

Concurrently with all of this we’ve been potty training. He’s been day trained for quite some time, but he began showing interest in taking himself to the bathroom rather than going in his nap/bedtime diaper if he was awake. So we told him that if he needs to go to the bathroom he can leave his room and do that quietly and return to bed. A whole new level of chaos has ensued. Minutes after leaving the room doors begin to slam and running feet can be heard. Last night we put him to bed at 8pm and he was still awake when I was going to bed at 10:30. And that time is now spent entering and leaving his room. Another favorite is peering down at us from the upstairs balcony in a manner he thinks is quiet. I have no idea what he thinks he is doing, but he also goes into and out of his closet slamming the sliding doors open and shut each time. Feet thunder back and forth over our heads.

I love the independence and exploration. I love that his world had grown from the confines of his crib, to toddler bed, to his room, to the areas outside his room. However, I miss the beautiful sleep. And I’m pretty sure he does too. I’ll give him a week or so to see if the exploration grows old on its own, but if not I guess I’ll have to do the sitting with him trick at night time too.

Jealousy

I didn’t start reading blogs until I had children. Then I found several that I enjoy. I enjoy them because it’s nice to know that I’m not alone. And they’re often funny and well written. Now I’m experiencing something new – jealousy. A mother in a blog I follow just had her youngest turn two. Among many other things she mentioned that he’s talking in two to three word sentences. I want that for Ava too. More than I can say. I don’t like feeling jealous. It’s not an emotion I identify with myself. I think it’s something I’m going to have to make peace with though. It’s part of my future.