Waiting

My husband's parents are in town to celebrate Michael's birthday with us. We went to dinner last night to kick off the festivities in style. The children were getting a bit impatient while we waited for our food to arrive. Grandma taught Ava to use her iPhone to take pictures and that was a huge hit. Michael immediately wanted to "play". I pulled out my phone and showed him how.

I kid you not. In five minutes he took 271 pictures. He took extreme pride in the fact that he had taken about 30 pictures in a row of his Grandpa's arm and I have all the shots to prove it.

At the end of the meal, the children were waiting again while the adults finished up. They took a few more pictures, but that wasn't going to do the trick a second time. Grandma picked up Ava and they went for a little restaurant tour to talk about all the pictures they could see. It was sweet to watch Ava in her Grandma's arms chattering away happily. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but she had a lot to say.

Science on the Light Box: Baking Soda and Colored Vinegar

Light Box Science: Baking Soda and Colored Vinegar

I grabbed one light box and the translucent tray to go on top. I also got out some baking soda, food coloring, and four 2 oz squeeze bottles filled about halfway with vinegar and gathered the children around the light box on the kitchen floor.

We reviewed what happened when we mixed water and oil on the light box (they stay separate). I explained that this time we were going to put colored vinegar on baking soda. I let them taste the vinegar and the baking soda. They claimed they liked both. I had them make a guess about what would happen when we dripped colored vinegar on the baking soda (their guess was that the baking soda would get wet and turn colored).

We chose four colors of food coloring and colored the vinegar in the squeeze bottles. I also used some leftover colored water for contrast. I sprinkled a rather thick layer of baking soda in the translucent tray and began by dripping some colored water on the baking soda and asking them to tell me what happened. They decided that the baking soda was wet and colored just like they guessed.

Then we tried the colored vinegar and got colored bubbles. We decided that when vinegar combines with baking soda we get a different reaction than when water mixes with baking soda. Vinegar makes bubbles and water does not. That was as complex as we got.

They were quite impressed and couldn't wait to play themselves. I handed them squirt bottles and let them begin.

Ava discovered that if she mixed yellow and blue she could make green bubbles. That was a lot of fun. The next time I try this activity I think I'll give each child three bottles with red, blue, and yellow and encourage them to mix colors as they go.

At one point the first tray of baking soda was completely saturated and I quickly rinsed it out dried it. We distributed a much thinner layer the second time and tried to make actual designs.

Cleanup was as easy as rinsing the tray out and drying it with a cloth.

Solo

For the first time since the children were born my husband has to go on a business trip. I have two nights and three days of solo parenting to look forward to.

Two years ago I would have faced this situation with panic. One year ago I would have experienced extreme anxiety. Even six months ago I would have been nervous. Under all of those circumstances I would have lined up help in the form of grandparents.

Now I'm anxiety-free. The kids are so much easier at 2 1/2 and almost 4 than they were at younger ages. Barring any oven fires (knock on wood), we'll be fine. Sleeping by myself in an empty bed will be stranger than the solo parenting. It feels good to be comfortable going solo.

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Happy Halloween everyone!

Adulthood Independent of Parenthood

Last night my husband and I attended the wedding of a good friend. It was a storybook wedding. The sun set during the outdoor ceremony on a perfect crisp fall day. The bride pulled up in a horse and carriage. Everyone was beautiful and everything went perfectly. I felt honored to be invited to help celebrate such an important event in her life.

I put on a dress I hadn't worn since before Michael was born. My husband wore a suit and tie. My parents generously offered to keep both children overnight. We went out. We watched a beautiful ceremony, had a nice dinner, and talked with adults all evening. We felt very connected as a couple.

It has been a long time since I spent an evening out with my husband in a social setting that had absolutely nothing to do with parenting. I love my children. I love being their parent. It is a privilege. However, it was really nice to reconnect a little with what it felt like to just be us as an adult couple separate from the now ever-present parenting responsibilities. We'll have to try to go there more often.

Inconvenience

I am basically a people pleaser by nature. It just clicked with me in childhood like a baby duckling imprints on its mother. We follow rules. That's a fundamental truth. We try to make the people around us happy. Another fundamental truth. Being an inconvenience or annoyance to others is to be avoided at all costs.

As an adult I realize that this simply isn't possible at all times. I know that. I know it isn't healthy or possible to feel a compulsive need to keep everyone around me happy all the time. You'd think raising two under two would have beaten that out of me, but dealing with children is somehow exempt from all of the above.

Then it turned out that Ava needs extra help. In order to get her the help she needs I have to be her advocate, translator, chauffeur, personal assistant, and liaison in addition to raising her to be an intelligent, caring, responsible adult who knows, without question, that she is loved. In order to be this advocate for her I have to do things I find uncomfortable.

Specifically, I am asking her preschool office staff and teachers to make some accommodations for her. She has been receiving speech at school. Her teacher has been wonderful about it. She even helped us get permission from some of the other parents in the room to participate so that her therapist can facilitate her communication in a small group. Overall, the school has been wonderful too, even providing a room for them to work in.

Ava's third birthday is on the horizon and the school district is preparing to evaluate her in December. They've called the school to set up an appointment to do an official classroom observation as part of that evaluation.

Last week her occupational therapist expressed a desire to observe her in the classroom during play and during her lunch at school. She and I tentatively set that up for next Tuesday. I mentioned that to the preschool director as I was heading to pick Ava up from her classroom and I got a distinctly chilly vibe. She said it was fine, of course, but the subtext was clear [enough is enough].

It was just a little thing. It was, perhaps, 30 seconds of my day. She didn't even say anything, it was just a negative, inconvenienced vibe. And yet I'm still thinking about it. It's because I want to please. I don't want to be that parent who is a nuisance.

I need to get over it. I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg. This journey with Ava will consist of many more moments when I have to push, or inconvenience someone. It's just the nature of this particular beast.

Salt Art

These turned out beautifully.

1. First you take watercolor paper and let the children drizzle glue all over the paper.
   
   
   
   
2. Then you have them sprinkle salt over the glue until the glue is completely covered with salt.
   
   
3. Count to 20 or sing the ABC song to let the glue set a bit and then shake off excess salt.
4. We let ours dry for a couple of days but I've read that you can just go ahead and move to the next step immediately if you like.
5. Put liquid watercolors in an ice cube tray. We have red, yellow, and blue. We used those to also make orange, green, and purple. (You could also use water colored with food coloring.) Put one eyedropper in each spot.
   
   
6. Let the children drop the watercolors onto the salt trails using the eyedroppers. The salt trails will wick away the paint. They loved this and it really encourages fine motor control because it works best if they only dispense one drop at a time.
   
   
7. Admire end result and place somewhere to dry.
   
   
8. [Optional]When children want to continue using eyedroppers and watercolors provide additional paper and show them how they can use the eyedroppers as tools to make lines from the drops of paint.
   
   

Making and Painting a Textured Surface

This started out as a great OT activity. Take toilet paper and let the children rip it into little bits and fill a bowl with it. They absolutely loved that part.

Then you add glue. Lots of glue. I didn't measure, but I used at least 8 oz for the three bowls. Ask the children to mix the glue with the toilet paper (with their hands) until it turns to sticky mush. Listen to screaming and crying protests and end up doing much of the mixing yourself. (Or at least, that's how it went at our house.)

[I forgot to take a picture of what the glue/toilet paper mush looked like. Sorry!]

Then persuade the children to take the mush from the bowl and put it on paper to dry creating textured paper before they run off to wash their hands. If you have children with no sensory issues, this has so much potential. I made a snowman. You could make a mountain and lake. You could make anything really. It's pretty cool.

Let it dry for a couple of days until you remember to get back to the project.

Let the children paint the newly textured paper. They loved this part. I filled an ice cube tray with six different colors of liquid tempera paints and gave them brushes and let them paint. We experimented with dabbing it on the textured areas and different types of brush strokes on the plain paper. They had a blast. We spent about 45 minutes painting the textured paper and then moving on to several other pieces of plain paper before they were done.

Here's how the painted textured ones turned out.

A couple of notes should you decide to try this activity yourself. You need lots of glue. And lots of toilet paper. We used about half a roll of toilet paper and ended up with relatively little final product.

Homemade Light Boxes

One of the things that is often incorporated into the activities featured on Play At Home Mom is a light table. I decided to make homemade light boxes for the kids (with my husband's help). They aren't quite finished, but they are functional.

First we bought two fairly small clear bins. We wanted them to each be able to play on their own and we liked the idea that they could even pull them into their laps if they wanted. We bought white spray paint (the kind designed to adhere to plastic) and spray painted the inside of the bin and some of the lid. We also bought battery powered florescent lights to put inside. I used some pattern paper I had gotten a while back from a fabric store and we use that to diffuse the light. Hopefully the pictures will make all of this clear.

So far, we have just played with translucent items on top of the box. Once they get bored with that, I'll start to introduce different art and sensory activities using the light box. So far we've used glass gems, mosaic shape tiles, translucent letters, and some translucent duplos on the box. The gems we sorted by color. The shapes can be sorted by color and shape. You can also use the shapes to make pictures. Two triangles make a diamond. Two squares make a rectangle. You can make a house or flower or anything else you can imagine. The translucent letters can just be sorted by color or letter or used to spell simple words. We didn't have enough translucent duplos to do much with, but they thought they looked really cool on the light box.

You might also be interested in the following posts:

More Light Table Activities

Salt Art

Busy Book / Quiet Book Chalkboard

Cricut Envy

Michael and Ava got a wonderful surprise in the mail today. Ava's godfather (my cousin) sent Halloween cards to the children. They were homemade by his wonderful girlfriend who does amazing things with her Cricut cutting machine. (Thank you both!)

I have a Cricut. I use mine for very boring things like cutting out circles and squares for art projects. She uses hers and makes the most beautiful cards. See - here's the proof. Two super cool Halloween cards. My kids are so lucky.

Easy Word Family Practice Cards (or articulation practice cards)

I saw this simple idea for making word family practice cards and instantly wanted to make some for Michael. All you need is some sample paint cards (one per word family) and some cardstock.

Take the paint cards and write a letter that makes a word when combined with that family on each paint color. Cut a small piece of cardstock and write the word family on the cardstock. Cut a small square out of the cardstock so that the letters on the paint cards will show through when you place the word family card on top of them. I also wrote the word family on the back of each paint card so Michael can match the paint card to the corresponding word family card.

I made all four of these in 20 minutes or so. When I was finished I called Michael over and he read 27 words all by himself. It was fun. He liked this better than the word family eggs I made a while back because the cards are easier to use.

I started simple because Michael is just starting out, but you could easily use more complicated families (-ill, -ake, -oy, etc.) and include blends on the paint cards to increase the difficulty of the activity.

Teachers could use this as a phonics center activity. SLPs could use this to work on final consonants because you could choose a family with a final consonant you are targeting. You could also target an initial sound by putting different word endings on the paint card and making the initial sound you are targeting on the cardstock. You get the bonus of working on reading and articulation at the same time. These won't work for speech practice with Ava because she's too young for reading, but for elementary students it would be great.

Spay

We had the kittens spayed yesterday. It's a pretty non-controversial procedure. It was, in fact, a condition of their adoption. We signed a contract that said that we would have them spayed. I understand that it is the responsible thing to do considering the number of unwanted kittens out there. I know that it can help prevent future health problems.

And yet, picking them up, I felt guilty. They were disoriented and groggy. There were minor complications with Grace's surgery and I need to monitor her closely over the next several days. I want what is best for them and I want to be a responsible pet owner.

I suppose I just need for them to both heal quickly and well. Then I will feel better.

One particular post-operative instruction was good for a laugh at least. Our vet would like for me to keep them calm and from moving around too much - for a couple of weeks. Hmm. These are kittens. Two of them. Sisters. When they're playing it sounds like thunder. I love that about them. How, precisely, am I supposed to keep them still for two weeks?

At the moment I have them confined to a bathroom. At least there they are limited by the square feet of the room. I'll do that for 24-48 hours and then we'll see.

It's All In a Self-Assigned Name

It won't come as a huge surprise that the variety of vegetables that Ava will eat is small. She'll eat canned peas, but not frozen. She'll eat raw carrots with ranch, but not cooked carrots. She'll eat sweet potato fries, but not mashed sweet potatoes. And regular fries of course. And that's about it. No corn, no green beans, no tomatoes, no broccoli or cauliflower.

I finally resorted to subterfuge. I went back to making baby food essentially. (I still love my Baby Cook.) I steam and purée vegetables like butternut squash and carrot in batches. I freeze the purée in ice cube trays. Then I defrost and mix the cubes into her food whenever it wouldn't be noticed. I can get two cubes into her morning yogurt, for instance.

A couple of days ago I was making a batch of sweet potato. I had steamed and puréed it and was in the process of spooning it into ice cube trays when Ava came by to check out the action. She observed in silence for a few moments and then demanded, "I want some icing!"

I thought for a moment about correcting her assumption that the puréed sweet potato was icing, but that just seemed a waste of a golden opportunity. Instead I said, "Well, you can have one taste." Then I let her try a taste from the tip of my finger.

She made a face and I thought that would be the end of it, but a moment later she piped up with, "Mama, can I have a bowl of icing?". You can bet that I scooped sweet potato right back out of the ice cube trays and put it in a bowl for her. She then proceeded to eat three small bowls (about 4 ice cubes) worth of sweet potato. I guess sometimes it really is all in the name.

(It probably helped that she was starving because she didn't like anything I served for dinner that night.)

Now who's contrary?

I have been known, on occasion, to use the word "contrary" in reference to my daughter. I love her. In general I think having a strong will and knowing her own mind are traits that will serve her well in life. It can occasionally (often) make parenting challenging at this stage, but overall, I like her personality.

This week in particular I am reminded that she comes by those traits honestly.

For example:

• I complain they won't play independently... but feel guilty when they play together beautifully while I spend an hour straight cleaning and "ignoring" them.
• I complain that Ava's too much a "mama" girl... and then feel jealous when she wants Daddy to be the one to fix her hair.
• I complain that I never get to sleep in any more...then, when I have the opportunity to sleep in, I get up at 7:30 am anyway.

A Couple of Projects

Using my sewing machine, some scrap fleece I've had lying around for ages, and this Snowblossom Fleece Hat Tutorial I made Ava a hat. It took me about an hour and a half. The tutorial is really well done, and the sizing guidelines worked perfectly.

It would be even cuter in a better color combination, but I just used what I had around. If I make a trip to a fabric store, I'll pick out colors to make another one for Ava and one for Michael too.

_______________________

I stumbled upon a picture of a project someone had done using plastic Easter eggs to make a word family activity. I decided to make some for Michael. He's really proud of being able to sound out three letter words, but he is sounding them out letter by letter and hadn't caught on to word families yet. I've only made two so far, but they work beautifully. He can rattle off seven or eight words so quickly this way. It's becoming automatic. I really need to make the time to make some more.

Sorry about the picture being so blurry, but at least it gives you an idea. First I tried glue and that didn't work so well, so with the second one I tried tape. That didn't work all that well either. Anyone have any other ideas?

Ava's Hello Bag

On our way home after being discharged from the hospital we stopped at the grocery store. Before the unexpected hospital adventure we had been postponing a trip to the store for several days and we had very little left in the house to eat. So we had to stop by the store just so we could feed everyone lunch when we got home.

I was carrying Ava around the store keeping her happy while my husband did the actual shopping and Ava spied something in a clearance bin that made her perk up. It was a Hello Kitty lunch bag. I pulled it out of the bin and told her she could carry it as long as she walked. It worked. She walked around looking at all sorts of things. But she never let that bag go. She was in love. We decided to bring it home.

Now I expected her to use the bag for all kinds of things. As it turns out, only two things ever go in the bag.

Compartment 1: Mama Kitty

Compartment 2: Baby Kitty

Ava carries her kitties in her kitty bag. It's adorable. They are in there and nearby all the time. They go up for nap. She takes the kitties out to sleep with them and then carefully returns them to their compartments and brings them downstairs with her when she wakes up. The bag and kitties travel from room to room with her and then go up for the night where they get to leave the bag to cuddle with her at night. Then back into the bag they go in the morning to come back down. So funny.

Home again.

We spent the night at the hospital with Ava. It was the first night we had spent there since the hospital stay when Ava was born. I would have been all right without having to do that again, but it was necessary. The nurses in the pediatrics ward were just as great as the nurses I'd had in the maternity ward.

I was worried we'd have another night as bad as the first and need another breathing treatment, but the oral steroids finally kicked in and the stridor improved through the night. We all got a decent night sleep all things considered. The nurse had to wake us every four hours so we could help her check Ava's vitals, but aside from those 10 minute awakenings we all slept through. Any mother of a newborn would think that's a great night's sleep.

And so we're home again. Things aren't quite back to normal, but we're heading there.

Wishes are not always granted.

We did go to our doctor's office. The receptionists listened to Ava strain to breathe in horror for a short period of time before sending us straight to the emergency room where her oxygen level was 91. I thought that sounded pretty good. Just like getting an A- on a test. Apparently not.

We pinned her down while she strained to breathe in enough air for the next scream during her breathing treatment. Then we pinned her down while they gave her a dose of oral steroids. She promptly choked half of that back up. Then they told us they just needed to observe her for two hours before sending us home.

An hour later the stridor was back. That earned us another delightful breathing treatment and an admission to the children's ward. And that's the current update.

How to properly ring in the change of seasons...

In our house, it wouldn't be fall unless we pick up a child from school with a 102.5 degree fever, wheezing, and the croup. Please, oh please let this pass quickly, relatively painlessly, and without a trip to the emergency room. And while I'm wishing, it would be awfully nice to not pass the illness around through all members of the family including the grandparents this time.

The first illness award this year goes to Ava. It is interesting though. The last time Ava was sick, last spring, she couldn't really communicate about it. This time, just as the 4 hour dose of acetaminophen was wearing off she came to me and said, "Mama, my mouth hurts." As pitiful as that was, I was grateful that she finally has the words to tell me.

Dawn of a New Era

And so begins sibling sneakiness...

Part 1:
The children were playing "sleepover" upstairs. I heard thudding feet coming down the stairs and I overheard Michael say, "We need to go to the basement without Mama seeing us." He says this five feet away from me at full volume of course. He's just old enough to start being sneaky, but still unsophisticated enough to think that if he can't see me, I can't hear him. Ava echoed, "without Mama seeing us". I actually thought it was all pretty funny and kept my back to them as they "snuck" around the corner to the basement stairs. I managed to not laugh out loud as Michael pulled Ava away rather loudly when she almost came the wrong way (towards me).

Part 2:
I put the children down for nap. Michael first, and Ava second. I close their doors during nap. Michael's door has one of those child protection devices on the inside doorknob to keep him from wandering when he should be sleeping, but Ava's does not because until recently she didn't wander.

I came downstairs and began to settle. I love naptime. I love the quiet and the moments that are completely mine. Then I heard feet coming down the stairs. And giggling. And shushing. Michael said, this time whispering (loudly), "Shhhh! She'll hear us!" Apparently Ava had left her room and let Michael out of his and the two decided to go exploring. I deliberately shifted in my chair making it creak. Michael said, "Quick, she's coming!" and then I heard thudding feet heading back upstairs.

I waited a few moments to give them time to get back upstairs. Children who were experienced at this game would have each gone to their separate rooms and pretended to be asleep. My little ones both headed to Michael's room and were playing when I got up the stairs. I escorted them both back to their beds and reminded them that naptime isn't playtime. I actually sat in a chair in Ava's room for the five minutes it took her to fall asleep when she stayed still for that long. Then I slipped back downstairs for a second time.

Rear-Facing Car Seats Revisited

Almost four months ago I wrote a post about reading a NYT article on the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendation to keep children rear-facing until at least two years of age or until they reach the rear-facing weight limits of their seats.

Then, and now, both of my children are still rear-facing in their seats. Ava is in a seat with a rear-facing weight limit of 35 pounds and weighs about 32 pounds. Michael is in a seat with a rear-facing weight limit of 40 pounds and weighs about 36 pounds. Michael is almost four years old. He never complains about being rear-facing. He's starting to get a bit cramped. I have to shuffle legs around to get him buckled in, but once he's settled he is perfectly comfortable.

The Washington Post just did an article on the topic. Again, the information that stands out in my mind is that "children younger than 2 were 75 percent more likely to die or be seriously injured when facing forward." The article explains that rear-facing is safer because small children have relatively heavy heads and weak necks and spines. When forward facing during a crash the heads can snap forward with so much force that necks break, spinal cords are injured, and brain injury can result. When rear-facing, the seat supports the head and neck and distributes the force of the crash more evenly.

Given the safety reasons for keeping them rear-facing, we have decided to continue as long as possible. With our current seats we can keep them both rear-facing for several more months. But as soon as either child outgrows theirs we will have two choices. We can turn one of them around and keep one rear-facing with the current seats. Or, we can buy a new Radian. That will buy us an extra five pounds. At this age, that is a lot. It could well keep both of them rear-facing another year.

Is the extra time rear-facing worth buying another very expensive carseat that we don't really need? That is the question I'm wrestling with. I'll probably just postpone deciding until the last minute.