Magic Tree House Progress Chart

Michael and I have been reading the Magic Tree House books. The books are about siblings Jack and Annie who discover a Magic Tree House that travels through space and time to destinations found in books. The series is very well done and Michael is really enjoying them.

There is a companion website for the books where children can track their travels through the series in a virtual passport. They collect a virtual stamp for each book's location by answering questions about the book. Michael is really too young to enjoy collecting virtual stamps and the questions are a little hard for a three year old. I was kind of disappointed because I was hoping that the passport would be a fun enrichment activity that we could do together in addition to reading the books. (They advertise the passport in the back of each book which is how I knew about it.)

As I was wandering the sections of the website for teachers and parents, I discovered a welcome packet that included some bookmarks and a book list that has small images of every book cover.

I decided to make Michael a physical version of their passport. A Magic Tree House Progress Chart, if you will. I printed out the bookmarks and the book list on cardstock. I used the bookmarks and some title art to decorate a cardstock Magic Tree House themed blank progress chart and taped it to his closet door. I then cut out the pictures of the book covers we had already read. He loved sticking the books to the chart and excitedly talked about the books as we put each one on the chart.

He couldn't wait to start reading the new book and is already talking about how we get to put another book on his chart when we finish reading it.

Amazing Library Experience

I've mentioned this before in passing, but it is worth saying again. Our county library system is amazing. First, their entire catalog is online. I can browse by author or keyword or even call number. I choose up to 25 books from anywhere in the county to place on hold and they are delivered to my local library. I get an email when they have arrived. I browse the call number "board books" for Ava and the call number "JE Readers" for Michael. I've also placed children's cds and dvds on hold.

It gets even better though. They have a hold shelf. I don't even have to go to the counter. I simply walk over to the hold shelf, find the books I've requested all waiting for me together in one spot and walk over to check out.

The county recently upgraded their technology to some sort of wireless system. All the librarians have to do to check you out is place a small pile of books on a pad and the entire pile is scanned at once. I thought that was pretty amazing but then they installed self checkout kiosks. I am in and out of the library in five minutes. I walk in, putting my returned books in their slot, and then walk over to the reserve shelf near the door and grab my new set of books. Then I self checkout and leave. I'm trying to remember to request new books every Sunday night and pick up the new set every Thursday on the way to pick the kids up from preschool.

Absolutely amazing. Have any of you had good experiences with your local libraries?

Social Dynamics

I try hard to find playmates for my children. Michael has a weekly playdate with a boy up the street who is only 6 weeks older than he is. We've been getting together regularly for at least a year and a half. They are a wonderful family and it has been pretty amazing to watch their relationship develop from two babies playing side by side to two boys who run off to play independently. Ava is just starting to get together regularly with a little girl in our neighborhood who is only 4 months older than she is. So far, they mostly just play in the same space, but that is fairly typical for a couple of two year olds playing together.

I have a friend too. We've known each other since before marriage and children. Now she has a little girl,Cara, who turned four just a few weeks after Ava turned two. She is 8 months older than Michael and almost exactly two years older than Ava. We try to get together on a weekly basis too. It's great that the kids get along, but mostly, we just want to get together ourselves.

Usually, Cara and Michael play together. That was especially the case before Ava started talking. Or all three children would play independently. When they came over yesterday though, a whole new dynamic appeared. The two girls went off together. Cara was actively engaging Ava and trying to make her laugh. They were tickling and wrestling and just being silly. They climbed on the playset together. In fact, every time one wandered off, the other would follow. The girls played together for extended periods of time while Michael ended up a bit neglected.

I was torn. It was amazing to watch the girls playing together even with the two year age gap. The communication, enjoyment, and togetherness was like something that had been gift wrapped for Ava and it was beautiful. At the exact same time, I hurt for Michael. He was trying to get in on the fun, he really was. But somehow he just ended up sidelined. The girls weren't deliberately leaving him out. They were just interested in different activities.

I suppose that when Ava tags along on Michael's playdates she is the one sidelined, but somehow that doesn't make me as sad because the pair playing together are age matched. It was just fascinating to watch gender and personality determine the playmates more so than age. Social dynamics start so very young.

Shadow Play

Ava was playing with her shadow in the basement playroom. She was standing on a step stool and the setting sun was coming in through the basement window lighting up the wall. Ava noticed her shadow and was delighted. She waved and played with it for several minutes and her Daddy was able to catch it on film. I stole the pictures from him and put them together so you could see.

What to do with an old baby wrap?

I was trying to think of creative ways to use a few old baby wraps I have lying around and I came up with this. We're redoing the basement's drop ceiling so I have access to the guts of the ceiling. I tied the wrap in a loop to a 2 by 4 in the ceiling. Voila. Instant indoor swing.

Michael likes to lay in it on his tummy and twist himself around until the swing won't turn any more. Then he picks up his feet and twists until he's so dizzy he can't stand. Ava likes to sit in it and be twisted and left to untwist, or to be pushed in traditional swing style. At the moment these activities are closely supervised because Ava sometimes gets tangled in the swing when she tries to get out on her own. I pick it up out of their reach when I'm not in the room.

It's a ton of fun though and certainly a better use of an old baby wrap than leaving it lying folded in a drawer.

Here's a picture of Ava in the new swing. Sorry it is so blurry. The swing was moving pretty fast. At least it gives you the idea. And just for fun, here's a picture of Ava in a different baby wrap when she was only three weeks old.

If anyone has any other great ideas for what to do with an old baby wrap, speak up. I'd love to hear them.

No problem.

Last night at dinner Ava was wandering the kitchen with one of her Daddy's wrenches. She walked up to him and said, "Look Dada! Look." He replied, "Yes baby. Could you put that on the table for me?" Ava walked over to the kitchen table and plopped the wrench right down on the edge of the table. She said, "No problem Dada!"

It completely cracked us up. I'm not sure she knew why we thought it was so funny. Did she get that from me?

Tall People Can Reach High Locks

Ava and I were in a public restroom. Now, this is how the experience usually goes. Ava uses the potty first. Then I try to get my business done while begging her not to open the door just yet. The sounds of muffled laughter from other stalls are always helpful.

Well, this time, the door lock was too high for her to reach. It was wonderful. In fact, I'll admit it, I kind of enjoyed watching her fruitlessly try to reach the door lock secure in my knowledge that she couldn't reach it.

Ava stepped back, frustrated and said to me, "door high." I replied, "Yes, sweetheart. The lock is really high." She looked up at the lock again, and then back at me. Then she said, "Mama tall." I was astounded. I didn't even know she knew what tall meant, much less that she would make the connection to how the concept applied in this particular situation. And then she used it in a sentence well enough that I completely understood what she was saying.

All in all, a very nice trip to the restroom.

Redecoration

I'm going to begin with the basic facts.
A few months before Ava was born we decided to move Michael into the guest bedroom and to give Ava his old room. My dad painted his room a wonderful shade of green and we bought beautiful wall decals to decorate the room. Well, the wall decals didn't go up for months and months, but we finally made the time. I entertained both children while Daddy painstakingly arranged the decals around the room and the room came out beautifully. Note exhibit A: beautifully arranged wall decals.

Last night we noticed a brand new arrangement of wall decals (exhibit B). Michael had borrowed bits and pieces of other arrangements to make a new one of his own. He climbed up on a chair in his room (multiple times I assume) to arrange the stolen elements next to one of the pictures in his room.

Initial reactions.
Parents: Did you do this?!?
Michael: No. (obviously a lie)
Parents: Why did you do that? Mommy and Daddy worked hard to make your room pretty!
Michael: I'm sorry. (looking pitiful and crushed)
Parents: (starting to feel a little guilty) Well, it does look very nice sweetheart, and we can tell you worked hard on it. But Mommy and Daddy worked hard on your stickers and we would like for you to leave them where they are from now on.

At that point we returned to the regularly scheduled bedtime routine and put Michael to bed for the night.


Parental Discussion
Dala: Why is it that our first reaction to creativity and initiative is to crush it? I'm feeling a little guilty.
(can still hear banging from upstairs indicating that Michael is actually awake and playing rather than sleeping)
Daddy: It did look pretty nice didn't it?
Dala: Yeah, and he must have worked hard on it.
Daddy: That's it. I'm going upstairs right now to talk to him about it.


5-10 minute delay


Daddy's report.
Dala: So, how did that go?
Daddy: He obviously felt proud. We went over and I picked him up so we could look at it. We talked about how nice it looked. He was relieved that we liked it.
Dala: You're such a good Daddy.


Your thoughts?
What do you think? Was our initial reaction as out of line as we thought? Would you let your kids intentionally rearrange their room decorations?

Illustrated Early Chapter Books

First, I just have to say that I wrote this post twice. The first time I wrote it I walked away without saving (always a mistake, I know) and came back to find the computer had mysteriously rebooted and it was gone. After crying a bit and wallowing in self pity I decided that I liked the post enough to try to recreate it. The second time I wrote it I saved about 30 times - every time a child interrupted me. And without further ado, here is version 2.0.

You start with a baby who looks at the pictures in picture books for about five seconds before wanting to chew on the book. Ideally, you end up with a young child who enjoys listening to chapter books. How do you get from point A to point B? (I'm just talking about listening to books here, not the child reading the books for him or herself.) In my mind I think of the progression as something like this:

1. Picture Books
2. Early Readers: These are books with multiple chapters, but each chapter is a separate story. Examples include the Frog and Toad series by Arnold Lobel and the Little Bear series by Elsa Holmelund Minarik.
3. Illustrated Early Chapter Books: These are books with multiple chapters that tell a single story. They are illustrated on every page.
4. Early Chapter Books: These are books with multiple chapters that tell a single story. There are usually only one or two illustrations per chapter. An example is the Magic Tree House series by Mary Pope Osborne.

Picture books are plentiful, beautiful, and easy to find and enjoy. Picture books are an interesting genre because they can be very simple and very complex. Some picture books have no words at all, and some are actually written at a fifth or sixth grade reading comprehension level. You can read picture books to children forever. You just need to start simple and gradually get more complex.

Early readers are also pretty easy to find. Step into Reading is a early reader program that goes through four steps in increasing difficulty. I Can Read is also a early reader program that has four levels. The Frog and Toad books are actually I Can Read books Level Two. I highly recommend any of Arnold Lobel's books as great early readers. The thing about early readers is that they are typically a single story or the books are broken into chapters but each chapter tells a different story. In the Frog and Toad books, for example, all the stories are about the same two characters, but the stories can be read in any order.

There are many early chapter book series. Magic Tree House is one of the most popular. These books are longer, often around ten chapters long. They are also much more sparsely illustrated than picture books or early readers. There are usually only one or two illustrations per chapter. It is a big jump, particularly if you are trying to transition to chapter books with a preschooler, from early readers to early chapter books. They just still need the pictures.

That's why I started looking for illustrated early chapter books. They were much harder to find than I expected. (There are a few, like the Magic School Bus series, that I'm not discussing here because they are just deal with topics that are not right for a preschooler. I need something that works for a preschooler, not just a grade school aged child.) Here are five series I found that are illustrated early chapter book series that would be interesting to a preschooler.

1. Mr. Putter and Tabby by Cynthia Rylant: This series is about an elderly gentleman named Mr. Putter and his cat Tabby. They have many adventures, often with their neighbor Mrs. Teaberry and her dog Zeke. The adventures are often simple, but the stories are sweet, the relationships are genuine, and the mishaps of the characters make Michael laugh out loud. They paint a porch, fly a (model) airplane, go on a train ride, bake a cake, in addition to many other activities. We've read almost all of these books and have enjoyed every one. There are three or four chapters in each book and each page has a full color illustration. These books are a great transition from early readers to early chapter books.

2. Cowgirl Kate and Cocoa by Erica Silverman: This series is about a young cowgirl on a working cattle ranch and her talking horse Cocoa. The books are beautifully illustrated on each page and the stories are accessible for a preschooler. These books are also usually four chapters long. I thought that the cowgirl and ranch theme might turn him off, but Michael enjoyed these and looked forward to the next one.

3. Henry and Mudge by Cynthia Rylant: This is another series by Cynthia Rylant. This one is about a boy and his really big dog named Mudge. Again, the pair have really simple adventures. One story is about a mud puddle, another is about camping, a third is about catching a cold. Somehow, even though the main character is a boy, Michael likes the Mr. Putter and Tabby series more, but this one is still a great illustrated chapter book series. These books are also usually three or four chapters each and are illustrated on every page.

4. Mercy Watson by Kate DiCamillo: These are books about a pig and her misadventures. The books are beautifully illustrated and extremely well reviewed. These books are longer, around 8-10 chapters each. We read a couple of these and then abandoned the series. I think that the jump in length was a little too hard and the content was just a little too old. It's close though, and fits the criteria of an illustrated early chapter book so I wanted to mention it just in case it works for you. We'll revisit them in a few months.

5. Flat Stanley by Jeff Brown: This series is about a young boy who became flat (only one inch thick) when a bulletin board fell on him. He has a series of adventures and solves mysteries as only he can, because he is flat. This series is a little higher level for two reasons. The books are longer, around 9-11 chapters each. The illustrations are not on every single page, and the illustrations are black and white line drawings rather than full color illustrations. We have only read two of these so far, but Michael seems to like them and the stories are able to appeal to him as a preschooler so I'm including the series in this list. Definitely try the other ones first though. They are more appropriate.

That's it. That's all I could find. If you know of any other series that meet my criteria of an illustrated early chapter book series that would appeal to preschoolers, please let me know. I'd absolutely love to find more. Otherwise, enjoy the ones I have found. I hope you like them. Let me know if you read them.

Our Favorite Television Shows

I'm going to start this discussion with a slight tangent. Some time ago I read a study about trying to reduce sibling rivalry. Now, I don't have the study in front of me, so I might not get all of the details right, but this was the main idea. In the study they had a control group and an intervention group. The intervention group read stories about siblings who were fighting and then resolved their problems. The authors of the studies expected that the group that read and discussed the stories would show reductions in sibling rivalry behaviors compared to the control group. In fact, they found the opposite. The children who read the stories got worse. They fought more and engaged in a wider variety of undesirable behaviors. It turned out that they were learning new ways to fight from the books. It didn't matter that the stories in the books ended happily. What was important was the fact that the books featured fighting to begin with. The lesson I took away from this was that I wanted to avoid books and television programs that featured conflicts. I didn't want to teach them anything negative they didn't already know.

So, when I'm choosing shows for my kids to watch I'm looking for shows that are high in cooperation and being nice and low on any kind of conflict scale. I also like shows that have a slower tempo and haven't been jazzed up too much.

Current Household Favorite: Handy Manny
Right now the children love Handy Manny. We don't actually get the Disney Channel, so we watch the episodes available on DVD. It doesn't seem to matter how many times they've seen them, they want to watch more. Handy Manny is a repairman and his tools. Each episode features something that needs to be fixed or assembled and Manny works with his tools as a team to "get the job done". There are a few extremely mild conflicts (the two screwdrivers are a bit competitive with each other, the wrench tends to be scared of things, and the neighbor Mr. Lopart often refuses help when he needs it), but nothing major. Overall I like how the show teaches teamwork and always features Manny and his tools helping someone.

Second Place: Wonder Pets
Wonder Pets was the first show I introduced the kids to. The episodes are about a team of pets (Linny the Guinea Pig, Tuck the Turtle, and Ming-Ming the Duck) who help animals in trouble. The theme of this show is also teamwork. The music is wonderful in this program. Again, the conflict in this show is low. Most episodes have none at all. Occasionally the animals in trouble are in trouble because they're arguing (two seal siblings fight over a fish treat for example). Occasionally Ming-Ming and Tuck argue. These things happen in a minority of the episodes though, and even when there is a conflict it is usually mild. Great show. I cannot recommend it enough. It plays on Nick Jr. I believe and is also available on DVD.

Third Place: Curious George
Curious George plays on PBS and is about Curious George the monkey. The episodes are usually about a preschool appropriate science, math, or engineering concepts (examples: measuring, tadpoles, shadows, balance). The episodes are entertaining. My only objection is that George is often unintentionally "naughty" and doesn't usually deal with the same consequences for those behaviors that the typical child might get if they were "naughty". That's a mild objection though and overall I think the program and its content is wonderful.

Honorable Mentions: Blues Clues and Special Agent Oso

Blues Clues is a Nickelodeon program featuring a dog named Blue and her caretaker. The show is a bit difficult to describe but it is educational in nature and really appealing and engaging at the same time. The only reason it is not higher in the list is because it is never the first, second, or third choice for my kids. I wish it was.

Special Agent Oso is a Disney program about a teddy bear who is a Special Agent. His assignments are to help children with tasks they're having difficulty with (playing hide and seek, making a card, sorting recyclable items). The task is always broken down into three simple steps. I like this show, but since we don't get this channel we've only watched a few episodes on the computer. As far as I know it is not available on DVD. This show is also a bit faster paced than I would like, but only a little.

Do you guys let your little ones watch television? If so, what programs do you like?

Easter 2011

We had a wonderful Easter. I hope you had a great day too.

The morning began with the children discovering their Easter baskets. They enjoyed the candy and small toys included in their baskets. I had found some small pinwheels and included one in each basket. I didn't really think about it at the time, but they are a great oral motor activity. Ava had a lot of trouble getting her pinwheel to spin, but didn't give up. Of course there's always that one item that is more popular than all the rest. The kids loved the M&M filled gumball machines. They were the first things the children spotted and it was hard to get them to put the gumball machines down long enough to even look at the Easter baskets.

Mid-morning my parents arrived and the entire family participated in dyeing and decorating Easter eggs. Everyone had fun. We began by dyeing them and just as Michael was getting bored with the activity the first set were dry. He loved decorating them. We used the stickers in the egg dying kit and when those ran out I pulled out some art materials and glue and we used those too.

A couple eggs were cracked and therefore the children got to try hard-boiled eggs for the first time. I don't like hard-boiled eggs and never make them. So my kids had never tried them. My parents like them though and were able to set a good example. Michael refused to try a bite at first, but he'll do anything for his grandpa and eventually tried some. He eventually took a few bites of the white, but never tried the yolk. Ava finally decided she'd try a bite after feeling left out of all the attention Michael was getting. She spit the bite back out without even chewing it. I think she was startled that it was cold and didn't like the texture at all. I was pretty impressed she took a bite at all and praised her for trying it.

After lunch (breakfast for lunch - yummy) we were invited to a neighbor's house for an Easter egg hunt. The rain forced the hunt inside. This was the first year the children were old enough to really participate in an Easter egg hunt. Michael loved it. His bag was full at the end of the hunt and he thoroughly enjoyed discovering what was inside the eggs. Ava seemed a bit confused by it all, and entertained the adults by refusing to put any egg in her bag that wasn't pink. If she found a egg of any other color she'd toss it to the floor and practically run away. I slipped a purple one in her bag thinking it was close enough, but when she found it the purple one got tossed too. The other children were wonderful and began bringing all their pink finds to her for her bag.

It was a great family day and we all had a wonderful time.

The Campaign Against the Mama Phase

About a week ago I complained about the over-the-top Mama phase Ava is going through. A very nice commenter, JR Morber, made some well thought out suggestions. She said that they used a combination of strategies to fight a Mama stage with her son. I'm going to summarize her suggestions in list form.

1. Mama should be a little less effective at meeting the child's needs. Slow down. Make them wait.
2. Refuse to respond to small requests unless Daddy can do it.
3. "Pro-daddy praise campaign."
4. Special Daddy-only activities.
5. Re-arrange routines so that Daddy is taking the major role in care whenever possible.
6. Resist stepping in during Daddy-child interactions.

It sounds like a thorough, well thought out plan. And it sounded like a lot of work. At the time I thought that things weren't bad enough to put that much work into trying to fix the problem. I was just hoping that eventually the phase would pass.

Well, things continued to get worse over the next several days. Then one morning Ava pitched a fit just because her Daddy said "hi" to her during a moment that she thinks of as a Mama time (getting her from her room when she wakes up in the morning.) That was it. We immediately adopted JR Morber's plan.

We're about two and a half days into the plan. Essentially, if my husband is home, he takes point with Ava. When she protests we make some excuse about Mama being busy and then I just leave the room so I'm not an audience for any complaints. Daddy has been making extra efforts to (although he's always good) be funny, nice, and entertaining. Daddy has dressed her, put her down for nap and bed, put her into the carseat and taken her back out, played with her during play times, helped her at the dinner table, etc. It's working beautifully. We're already seeing a big change and it is wonderful.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to JR Morber if you're reading this.

We'll keep this up for several more days and then hope that the good will towards Daddy lasts when we go back to taking turns with the children.

Independent Entertainment

My children seem to be entirely dependent on me for their entertainment. "Mama, will you play with me? I'm lonely." Michael will say. Or Ava will demand, "Mama! Pay! (play)" We have a beautiful playset outside with three levels and a slide and some swings. We have a sand table and a box full of balls, chalk, bubbles, jump ropes, bats, and squirt bottles. However, when we're outside all they seem to want is for me to push them on the swings. They haven't learned to climb up into the swing and pump on their own yet. I need to encourage some independence in their play.

Last night after dinner we added two new things to the backyard. They are so simple and yet the children loved them and played with them independently for at least 20 minutes until it was getting dark and time to go in for bath. First we added a disc swing. When I bought it I daydreamed that we'd hang it low and the children would be able to get on it by themselves and swing without me. Well, as it turns out they cannot get on the swing by themselves. Ava cannot hold on even if we put her on and Michael can only hold on for about 30 seconds before falling off although he loves the 30 seconds. It looked like it was going to be a failure until Ava decided that she loved to grab the swing, pull it back and make it go "high!" She'll do it over and over again. Michael wanted to hit it with a bat and watch it swing around and absolutely loved it, but the swing was a little too low to make hitting it with the bat easy.

This gave us the idea to suspend a wiffle ball just at Michael's hitting height. He had a blast "whacking" the ball over and over again. He loved the sound of the bat hitting the ball. He loved watching it fly away from him and giggled every time the string brought it back bumping into him. It was hard to drag him away and he can't wait to try it again.

The two new additions were a complete success. Hopefully the newness won't wear off too quickly.

I'm sad you yelled at me.

Michael is a really sensitive child. He gets really upset when he feels he's being fussed at or criticized. When I lose my patience and yell unfairly, I try to apologize and give him a hug. As I'm hugging him and apologizing to him I can feel the tension drain from his body and it is clear from his behavior that he is able to move on much better than when I don't apologize and hug him.

Now, I never really raise my voice significantly, but I do let my children know via tone of voice when I am frustrated with their behavior. Due to the nature of a toddler and preschooler sharing the same space, I find myself fussing several times a day. Typical conflicts usually involve sharing or following directions in a semi-timely manner.

Lately, Michael has taken to responding to every correction by saying, "Mommy, I'm sad that you yelled at me." accompanied by a really pitiful face. He's obviously fishing for an apology every single time he's being corrected. I'm torn as to how to handle the situation. I usually say something to the effect of, "Yes, Mama did probably fuss louder than she needed to, but I was frustrated that you ______" (fill in the blank with the current misbehavior of the moment).

I'm not happy with that response though. Am I really trying to teach him that it's all right to yell when you're frustrated? Nope. Perhaps a better response would be, "Sometimes mommies fuss when their children aren't listening. Next time, you can share with your sister and Mama won't need to fuss." I should still apologize when I cross the line and fuss out of frustration rather than a desire to correct misbehavior, but when the fussing is appropriate I should just say so?

Any thoughts? How do you other parents of little ones handle similar situations? How do you think I should respond?

Favorite Children's Picture Books

I love reading with my children and I love children's books. I loved them as a child. I loved them as a teacher and Speech-Language Pathologist. And I love them as a parent. I will read to my children whenever they ask. At minimum we read before nap and bedtime. I wanted to share a couple of my favorite children's series and authors with you.

Iza Trapani

Iza Trapani takes classic nursery rhymes and adds extra verses to make the rhyme into a story. The Itsy Bitsy Spider tries to climb several things in addition to the water spout before finally succeeding in spinning her web. A family of bears is taking a boat trip down the river in Row, Row, Row Your Boat. In How Much is that Doggie in the Window a boy tries to earn the money to buy himself the dog he admires in the pet store window. In I'm a Little Teapot the teapot takes some children on an imaginary journey around the world. These are just a few of Iza Trapani's books. Her books are often available in both board book and paperback. I personally prefer the size and durability of the board books for reading with a young child in my lap. These books have a lot of longevity too. I've been reading them to Michael since he was a baby. When he was a baby he just liked the songs. When he was a toddler he still enjoyed the songs and he also loved the pictures and paid some attention to the stories. Now, approaching 3 1/2, he's noticing all of the details (and there are many) in the pictures and loves the extra verses in the stories. The books have grown with him. It's hard to choose, but these are our favorites:

I'm a Little Teapot
The Itsy Bitsy Spider
How Much is That Doggie in the Window?
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star
Baa Baa Black Sheep

Karma Wilson

Karma Wilson has written a lot of children's books, but we love two series in particular. The first is for younger children and are board books. We've only read two of the series although there are at least four. It is a series about a kitten named Calico. The books have a wonderful rhythm and the adventures of the mischievous kitten really appeal to the kids. The second series is about a bear and his group of forest friends and is a really wonderful series of books. We have all of them and they are great. They are fun to read, the illustrations are wonderful and the stories are sweet. They appeal to both my toddler and my preschooler. I'm going to list both Calico books and our four favorites out of the six Bear books currently available.

 

Hello, Calico!
Uh-oh, Calico!
Bear Feels Scared
Bear Feels Sick
Bear's New Friend
Bear Stays Up

I'm going to stop there for now. I'll do more another time. Do any of you have favorite children's picture books you'd like to share?

Better Late than Never

Ava had her second playdate with Sara yesterday morning. Illnesses, a variety of other commitments, and some travel conspired to disrupt every attempt we made at setting up a second playdate. It took us two months, but we finally managed to get together again.

The weather was perfect. It was about 70 degrees and sunny. We spent about an hour playing in the backyard. Sara was shy at first, but then realized that we had fun things like chalk and bubbles and squirt bottles. They played in the sand table, climbed in the playhouse, and went down the slide. The girls are still at an age where they mostly just play in the same space rather than really playing together. They were usually doing the same things though, and it was nice to see the two small bodies side by side playing together.

If we can manage to get together regularly it will look so different a year from now. Michael and his friend are now talking to each other and I can hear sounds of preschool conversation drifting towards me from a bedroom or playroom when they get together. I hope that I will hear that from Ava and Sara in time.

How much contrary is normal?

Ok. I need some reassurance here. How much contrariness is normal for 25 months of age? My firstborn never really went through a huge "No!" and temper tantrum stage, so this is pretty new to me.

Ava seems to refuse to cooperate as her default response lately. Time to get dressed? Nope. It's a struggle. Time to eat something that isn't bread or fruit? Nope, absolute refusal. Time to go outside. Nope, she wants to stay in. Time to play? Nope, she'd rather watch television. These things I can mostly deal with. Mostly.

It's the next level of contrariness that really gets to me. If she accidentally bumps her brother and I ask her to say sorry she absolutely refuses. She runs away from us pouting and whining and would rather spend an incredibly long amount of time in time-out than just say "Sorry." If she's having trouble with something and you attempt to help, she'll throw down the offending item and refuse to play with it any more rather than accept assistance. If she wanted to go first and has to go second she will refuse to continue to participate in the activity. If asked to share something, or give back something she has taken she simply refuses.

And then there's her absolute refusal to let her Daddy do anything for her. If she wants milk I have to get it. If she wants down from her booster seat she'd rather stay in than let her father help her. If she has to go to the bathroom she'd rather wait an hour than let Daddy help. We were walking together tonight and she wouldn't even hold his hand. I do believe it's starting to hurt his feelings. And it isn't that she doesn't like him. She loves seeing him come home. She loves to tickle and wrestle with him. I think it is just another way for her to insist on getting her way rather than ours.

Someone please tell me that this is within normal limits for the age. And if it is normal, how long does this last? And could you possibly share some strategies for dealing with it?

Toe?

Today we were getting ready to go outside. It was an amazing spring day. The temperature was about 65 degrees with a light breeze. The sun was shining brightly. When playing in the sun short sleeves felt wonderful. We had just finished putting on shoes and socks and were heading out the door to play when Ava said, “toe” and looked at me expectantly.

I had no idea what she meant. She repeated herself politely once or twice in response to the apparently blank look on my face. When I responded with, “I have no idea what you want sweetheart, can you show me?” she started to get frantic chanting over and over, “Toe! Toe! Toe! Toe! Toe!” It was obvious that she wasn’t going outside until I figured out what she wanted. I felt terrible and as she got more and more frustrated and anxious so did I. Finally, when she started heading for the coat closet I realized that she was asking for her coat.

I wasn’t expecting the request because it was so nice outside so I didn’t have any context to guess until she gave me a clue. In retrospect, “toe” for “coat” makes perfect sense. She leaves off the /t/ at the ends of words and she can’t make a /k/ sound so she used a /t/ at the beginning instead. That turns coat into toe. The whole exchange couldn’t have taken more than 60 seconds, but it was a pretty intense 60 seconds and we were both relieved when we finally figured it out.

Nightmares and Dreams

I rarely remember my dreams, but I had what I consider to be the worst nightmare of my life recently.  The nightmare started out well, as they usually do.  Michael and I were in some kind of store having a great time together.  The shelves in this store were made out of a really lightweight plastic, and when a spot was empty on the shelf you could see through to the next aisle over.  Michael was on one side of the shelf and I was on the other and we were playing peek-a-boo.  We were both having a blast.  Then he started trying to climb through the hole to get to me and the entire shelf and all its contents began to fall towards him.  I tried to catch the shelf to prevent it from falling but I couldn’t hold it up.  That shelf and the next three shelves all toppled over like dominos burying Michael underneath. 

My first response in the dream was embarrassment – not worry.  The shelves were so lightweight I really thought he was ok under there and I was more embarrassed that we had made such a huge mess in the store and attracted so much attention.  Then I started frantically trying to dig him out.  When I found him, he was mostly limp and dazed.  He was confused and murmuring, “Mama” over and over again.  Then, in a flash, in the way of dreams I suddenly knew that this was very bad.  I cradled him in my arms sobbing.  I knew he was going to die.  Then I woke up.  My face was covered in tears and my heart was racing.  I felt sick.  Seriously, it was the worst nightmare of my life. 

As a contrast, I also recently remembered a good dream.  In high school I lived in Pennsylvania in a home with a pretty unique architecture.  For example, this house had two kitchens – one on each end.  It also had two bathrooms side by side.  The elderly couple who owned the house before us apparently liked to keep things separate and converted a screened in porch to an extra kitchen and one large bathroom into two small ones. 

In my dream my family as it is now (my husband and I, and Michael and Ava) were living in the PA house.  I was in the extra kitchen and found a previously undiscovered cabinet full of old toys.  The kids were elated.  As I pulled the toys from the cabinet I found a hidden door and tunnel.  We crawled into the tunnel and found a passageway that ended in a secret playroom and nursery.  The playroom was full of really cool 60s era toys and the nursery was kind of like the one in Peter Pan.   It was a bedroom for two decorated beautifully with two twin beds, small dressers, lamps, mobiles, a rocking horse, etc. 

As I describe it, the dream sounds pretty mundane and unremarkable, but it felt like adventure, discovery, and treasure all rolled into one and left me feeling happy.  Well, I was happy until I found out that I was awoken by my husband calling for assistance because Michael had thrown up.  Isn’t life with young children always like that?

Two and Three

Michael and Ava are only 15 and a half months apart in age. So, when Ava was born, Michael was a very young one. Parenting a one year old and a baby was… challenging. We got very little sleep. Michael didn’t understand that sometimes Mama and Daddy needed to tend to Ava, and Ava certainly didn’t understand that sometimes Mama and Daddy needed to tend to Michael. Everyone was in cloth diapers. We changed lots of diapers and washed lots of diapers. There was lots of crying. It was just a rough time. The learning curve for jumping from one baby to two was very steep.

Fast forward a year. Now the children are one and two. They’re both mobile, but not particularly steady on their feet. They’re still both in cloth diapers. Only one of them is talking. This was worrisome. They’re old enough to both want the same toy at the same time. Going out was a challenge because they were both at ages where they had to be closely supervised to make sure they didn’t tumble down a small step, or fall into the creek, or try to climb something they couldn’t get back down from. Again, challenging.

Now we’re at two and three. This stage is nice. They’re both out of diapers (except when asleep). They both talk (yea!). They’re both relatively steady on their feet. I no longer feel like they must be wearing long pants when they’re walking on the sidewalk to prevent bloody knees. They can feed themselves at the table. They can climb up and down most play structures successfully. They can both get up and down the stairs safely. Almost all the baby gates are down. Even the one at the top of the stairs is rarely used. They’re playing with each other. They’re having conversations with each other. I am starting to remember why I wanted my kids to be so close together. I wanted them to be playmates and friends. That is starting now and I like it. I’m beginning to feel less like I’m drowning and more like I’m taking control.

I expect things will only get better from here. Well, better until they’re both pre-teens and teenagers at the same time. That will be a whole new challenge that is thankfully still very far away.